


The Pain of Desire | l.s.

by Goldensunflower17



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Endgame Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, F/F, F/M, Harry Styles Loves Louis Tomlinson, Hurt Harry Styles, Larry Stylinson Is Real, Liam Payne & Harry Styles Friendship, Louis Tomlinson Calls Harry Styles Pet Names, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, M/M, Niall Horan & Harry Styles Friendship, Prince Harry Styles, Soulmates Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:27:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 45,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24893146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goldensunflower17/pseuds/Goldensunflower17
Summary: Harry is a 3rd year transfer to University and quickly meets and falls into Louis' web of friends, drama, parties, and love. A tale of unrequited love and betrayal. Will they prevail? Or will the pain of desire be too much to bear?** Contains mature themes and situations regarding drug and alcohol use, abuse,  mental illness, minor sexual activities, and physical altercations/fights. proceed with caution**
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Liam Payne
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. One : Moving In

"HARRY!" 

Harry groans as he turns over in his bed, exhausted from staying up until 3 in the morning the night before. He looks over at his phone to check the time and sees a big 8:30am written on the top. 

"HARRY STYLES!" He hears again, but in a fit of annoyance at the constant yelling he fires back. 

"I'M UP MUM!" He thrusts his head back onto his pillow in an annoyed fuss, but he's also slightly elated because today is the day he moves out and into his new campus!

He'd been attending a small local university for the last two years building up to this day where I can finally live the uni life that everyone always talks about when they come home for holidays. This one in particular is actually about 4 hours away from his family home which excites him more, because it means he can finally be on his own. 

With all of these thoughts racing in his head, he jumps out of bed excited to finally begin a new life. But, Harry has always been the shy kid. When you first meet him, he's very charismatic, but you have to be very confident to bring that side out of him because in all other instances he's the quiet, shy friend. When he has nothing to say, he doesn't feel the need to find something to say. And he likes that about himself.

He finally settles on wearing some black trousers, and a blue, flowy top that compliments his body, and some Chelsea boots. Some people may see him as a show off, but he loves his fashion sense. It's one of his favorite parts of life. being able to express yourself without words. Through clothes, music, writing, art. Which is why his choice of business as a study came as a surprise to all of his home friends. 

he trudges downstairs with a few suitcases full of clothes to see his small but excited mum standing in the kitchen waiting. But, as she is excited, her face says otherwise as he sees a tear stream down her face. 

"I'm going to uni mum, not prison." He says sarcastically. She just scoffs at his statement and walks over to give him a hug. 

"I know, but I'm going to miss you Haz." As much as he doesn't want to admit it, he will miss her, too. They have sort of a close relationship since his siblings moved out, it's been just him living there for the last 2 years. 

"So will I." He lets go of their embrace and starts to grab his stuff to bring to the car. 

"I already packed up the car with most of your stuff that you had down here." She says with a bittersweet smile. He nods at her gesture. She's not coming with him to move in, since he's transferring, he's not really going to be living in the dormitories. 

His close friend from home, Niall, goes to the school and has a flat with an open room already. His old flatmate left most of the furniture so the moving bit is fairly simple. 

Harry's mum looks at him again and she comes in for another hug and says, "Tell me once you get there, I put money in your rucksack, and tell Niall hello and thank you from me again." 

"I will mum." He says almost sing-song like, "I love you." She squeezes slightly tighter at that statement then lets go.

"I love you too, Harry. You'll have to tell me all about it later!"

"Of course" He nods as he scoops up his luggage and walks towards the door. 

"Goodbye, mum!!" he yells from the doorway, but doesn't hear a response. 

Once he packs up his car, he gets in the drivers side, puts on his drive playlist which consists of Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones, and a dash of Frank Sinatra. He'll sometimes though listen to Fleetwood Mac, too as they are his favorite. 

He listens and cruises down the roads until he reaches his new home. 

-

Rolling up to the new flat, Harry has 2 things banging in his head. One: how is living on his own going to be like. Will him and Niall get along? And Two: What will live be like now socially? Will he be that book worm in his room every day? Doubtful. Or will he be out partying every night? Less Doubtful. He parks and grabs a bag or two before heading up to his new home. Niall said there's a key under the floor mat. 

Harry opens to door to find a perfectly kept living room. Niall's one of these guys, he sees. He walks in and sees this guy with dark brown hair and shirtless cooking in their kitchen, but that isn't Niall? Did he walk into the wrong flat? 

"Erm?" He says in a cough to catch the man off guard. Which he does, because he flinches and turns around. 

"Oh my god, you almost gave me a heart attack! Harry is it?" Well, he is in the right flat.

"Erm, yeah? Where's Niall?" Harry says, but almost instantly another brown hair boy comes out of a room and yells, "Harry! My boy!" It's Niall. He finally lets out the breath he was holding and gives his Irish lad a smile and a big hug.

"Niall!!" He says in response. He's wearing some sweat pants, but is also shirtless. He looks at him and back at the mysterious man in the kitchen. 

He catches Harrys confusion as he instantly digs for an explanation. 

"That's Liam, by the way. He's our other flatmate." Wait what?

"We have another flatmate?" Harry questions almost immediately regretting it because he doesn't want to make Liam feel unwelcome by him. "Erm, I mean, Great! But, you didn't tell me." He clarifies. Liam lets out an auditory chuckle form the kitchen and Niall speaks again.

"Yeah mate! It was sort of last minute, because of the prices going up all the time, he's helping a lot, and he's a transfer just like you, so maybe you two can hang out... or something." He becomes awkward in that moment and Harry doesn't know why. he blushes and looks at Liam. 

Ahh, He see's now. "Are you..." Harry whispers to Niall, to ask if they have ever.... you know. 

"No!" Niall says almost immediately. Harry loves Niall, but he definitely has a tendency to sleep with people pretty easily. Not in a bad way, harry is actually slightly envious of the amount of confidence Niall exudes. Harry would probably be as experienced as Niall if he had an ounce of the confidence Niall has. But, nonetheless, he doesn't. 

All of this Uni shit is new to him. He's never lived with anyone who wasn't blood, never had to fend for himself financially to get food and supplies. It's all new, but if Niall of all people can do it for 2 whole years, then Harry can too. 

"I'm going to bring all of my stuff into my room." Harry announces to Niall and Liam.

"Okay!" Liam yells.

"I'll help!" Niall insists. 

-

They unpack all of Harrys shit which half of it isn't needed at all at uni and half of it is solely clothing. Of course. Niall even scolded him during the unpacking process wit the amount of clothing Harry owns. 

"What? I like fashion!"

"And tell me, why did you choose business again?" 

"Shut up!"

They walk back out to the common room to find Liam nose deep in a book while he eats his half burnt eggs he was making when Harry entered to flat. 

"Well, Mates! We're all here! I think we should celebrate! What do you say?" He holds up a small joint. Marijuana. Harry hasn't done much other than drink with his friends back home at the one pub down the road. So this is a whole new world for him. But, he doesn't want to look like he knows nothing, and he genuinely wanted to see what it's like. So he merely nods at Nialls suggestion. Liam had already grabbed it to take the first hit and passes it to Harry. He take it in my fingers, anxious, but slightly excited, and takes a hit. He instantly begins to cough, it's the worst cough ever, and he has asthma. That's probably why. 

"It's okay, everyone coughs." Niall says reassuringly. He knows Harry's never done this, he can tell. Fuck.

He stays silent, but already instantly feels lighter in the head. Like he's on a cloud. He lays back on their shared clean sofa and relaxes with his two new flat mates and a feeling of excitement for what's to come. 

-

His first night in the flat was uneventful to say the least. He slept like a baby after smoking with the boys, and woke up fairly early enough so he could make himself his first ever breakfast. Niall let him use his food, thankfully. 

He cooks eggs, sausage, and hash. And sits at the table with a cup of tea he made as well. 

Niall barges through the front door panting. If he weren't wearing work out clothes, Harry would've been frightened. 

"Oh good! You're awake!" Niall says in a heavy pant. 

"Yes, yes I am." Harry chuckles. 

"We're going out tonight. I need to show you Uni life. This week is going to be the craziest week for you, so get ready and make sure you have a good outfit." he rolls his eyes at the thought of Harry, NOT having a good outfit, "It starts tonight." Niall jogs into his room, leaving Harry on an excited note. 

"What time?!" Harry yells.

"I dunno, Nine?" Niall yells back out of breath. 

"Okay!" Harry is excited. Finally, parties, pubs, clubs, he's ready for what's in store. 

Or so he thought.


	2. Two : First Night Out

Harry spent almost all day picking out his outfit for tonight. He's too excited to see what night life has to offer here. He's only ever gone out with his hometown group of friends who go to the one pub down the road and that's it. So tonight is a big deal to him. He needs to look good.

He's decided on black high waisted trousers with a see through pink blouse on top to show off his favorite tattoos, which is mother hates that he got. He finished it off with a few rings and necklace accessories to accentuate the over the top yet tasteful outfit he's picked out.

Harry really does love fashion. He has always enjoyed putting together different ideas. He's even sketched out ideas for clothes that don't exist and he makes them himself. One of a kind. He puts on the outfit he's wearing out on the town and looks at himself in the mirror.

"Harry! Do you have any- oh my god, you look like you're ready to go to the oscars with that outfit!" Niall exclaims jokingly.

"Relax, I'd probably get kicked out if I wore this anyways." Harry laughs back at Niall.

"Erm, No, what's the plan for tonight?"

"Well we're going to go to a small pre party to start drinking and we'll all make our way to a pub or a club for the rest of the night. I'm excited to finally introduce you to all my party friends, they're going to LOVE you, Haz!" Niall's very excited for Harry to go out tonight.

"I'm excited too!" Harrys says back to be nice but he's slightly more anxious than excited. This is his first time going out. And this week is Fresher's Week, meaning he'll probably be dead by the end of it.

"Anyways I was going to ask if you had any tops I could possibly borrow for tonight too?" He asks Harry in a shy way. He knows how precious Harry's clothing is to him, but Harry has so many different kinds of clothing, it doesn't matter to him. Well, as long as Niall doesn't fuck it up.

"Of course here's my button ups!" Harry opens his closet to find a nice top that Niall would like and feel comfortable wearing. He brings out this patterned navy button up and shows it to his flatmate. 

"Oi! It's perfect! Thank you Haz! Are you almost ready? I think some of the lads want to get dinner before." He scoffs slightly, knowing Harry has been ready for a half an hour or so.

"Of course I am." Harry says in a calm yet bright tone. "I'm ready, just make sure I don't die tonight, mate."

"Of course not, just as long as you do what I say. I've done this too many times to count." They both laugh in unison. And at this moment, They both hear Liam yell from the common room.

"Hey lads! Let's go, our rides here!" Niall and Harry get up and grab their last minute staples. Phone, keys, and wallet. All good. Harry also has some pins in his wallet for fashion emergencies. Yes. Exactly.

The boys make their way down to their supposed 'ride' but Harry has no clue who or what he has in store for tonight. He finds out it's Niall's old flatmate, John. Harry's met him on a few occasions but not enough to carry a conversation. 

-

They get through dinner a lot easier than Harry expected. He felt as if he got off on the wrong foot with Liam and felt slightly uncomfortable around John, too. But, after a pint, all of them bonded enough that other people would think they've been close mates for years. John makes sure to not drink as much as the rest of us as he still needed to drive to the party. He seems slightly annoyed at this fact too because the other boys are blabbering like idiots already and he isn't pissed enough to be a part of it fully.

Before they knew it, they were already on their way to the pre party. Harry doesn't understand this concept. Why do you need a pre party to a real party that everyone is going to be at anyways? None the less he partakes. Drink after drink until he's tipsy. harry has always had a very high alcohol tolerance which is a blessing and a curse. A blessing that, he can stay aware more than others, but a curse because of how much he needs to drink to get hammered and how much it COSTS. 

After a half hour at this pre party Harry starts wandering around, saying hi to strangers and enjoying the scenery of this gorgeous house. It's absolutely massive. He stops and admires this large painting that stretches from the floor to the ceiling. It's a painting of a woman who looks so somber in a clearing in the woods. She's surrounded by sunflowers and her dark auburn hair blends in perfectly with the color scheme. She's wearing a white sun dress and laying down amongst the flowers. 

"Pretty, isn't it." Harry hears next to him from a voice he's never met before. He turns his head to look at the person who just spoke. He's shorter than him, maybe 5'8"/5'9"? His brown short hair ruffled on top in the perfect placement. On any person that would look messy but on this mysterious guy, it looks perfectly executed. He turns his head to to look at me and his eyes are bright blue. 

"Erm. Yeah, I thought it looked nice." Harry struggles to say. He was taken aback slightly when this guy snuck up next to him. "It's just so conflicting." He continues, turning his gaze back upon the painting

"Conflicting? I've never heard that to describe this painting before." He says with a hint of sass. 

"Well yeah!" Harry can feel himself become stimulated by the sass enough to be a little more convincing in his argument. "Look, she looks so sad but is surrounded by the prettiest, happiest flowers. She's in a place that should be perfect, yet seems so defeated." Harry points as to imitate brush strokes above the painting without touching it. "It's relatable." He stops. Why did he just tell a complete stranger that he relates to that? Is the vodka kicking in finally? But, before things could get awkward, Harry asks, "Wait, so you've been here before?" he turns his head back to him. The mystery guy is analyzing the piece now after what I said. 

"I've always thought the same thing when I would look at this." he ignores Harry's question, "You just confirmed my theory." He turns so that now they're both looking at each other. 

"This is my family home, I grew up here." He reaches his hand out to Harry for a a handshake, "I'm Louis." He introduces himself finally. Yet, I don't get why he's so polite, but Harry didn't want to fight him on it so he takes his hand to shake it as he responds, "I'm Harry, I'm new." 

"HARRY!" This Louis guy cheers. "Good to meet you then!" He puts an arm around Harry's shoulders as to start showing him around the party. Meeting his friends and Showing him the other parts of the house. Harry is automatically put off my this. All of a sudden they're buddy buddy now? And the automatic touching annoys him because he hates touching people unless he's super comfortable with them. He tried to shake off his hold and on the third try, Louis finally understood what he was trying to do. But, one friend of his stood out to him. His name was Zayn. 

"Heya Zayn this is a new mate, Harry, he's new." he thought it was strange to call him a mate but brushed it off as him trying to be welcoming to me. Zayn rolls his eyes at this guy and turns to Harry and says, "Is this guy bothering you?" with a smirk and a chuckle but with a hint of serious in it. I nod and he smiles. 

"Well, are you a first year? No offense, you don't look like it." Zayn asks.

"Oh no, I transferred here from back home. I'm a third year." Zayn and Louis both lighten up at this comment. 

"Oh we'll show you a good time don't worry." Zayn puts his hand on his shoulder and back down again. Again with the touching. Right after this exchange, Louis got swept away by a tall handsome lad and they stick together for the rest of the pre party, which doesn't last very long after. Everything then moves over to the real party. This time it's at a huge house as well, but this time it's less fancy and nice and more rowdy and fun. Spray painted walls, a dj, black lights. Seems like a proper rave or something like that. Harry arrives with his original gang, Niall, Liam, and John. Harry notices, Niall and Liam bonding more than usual and being attached at the hip the entire night. He even spotted them dancing with each other for a split second, but he might have imagined that. 

The whole night at this party, Harry continues what he started back at Louis' house. Zayn spots him and comes right up to him. 

"Welcome to my masterpiece Harry." He turns. 

"Your masterpiece?" Harry questions. 

"Yes! I spray painted all of these walls and put this together. I'll obviously paint over it once I move, but I'm really proud of them."

Harry begins to look around at all the different images and words spray painted on the walls and how intricate they truly are. 

"Zayn, these are amazing!" Harry yells as the music is a little too loud. Zayn nods as a thank you and begins dragging Harry around just like Louis did, except Zayn gives off a different vibe than Louis. But, Harry likes it nonetheless. He goes around meeting Zayn and Louis' friends again. He could tell that Zayn was getting drunk because he was introducing him to the same people multiple times. 

Harry then let him go off on his own as he started to lurk around. Almost immediately he almost bumps into, speak of the devil, Louis. 

"Harry!" He yells in excitement and turns to his friend next to him. "This is that funny guy, I was telling you about."

Funny? What does that mean?

"That's me. Funny." is all he says in response. This entire thing isn't really his scene so he's visibly uncomfortable. 

"Harry, c'mon. Let's find you something fun to do! huh? You look miserable." Harry looks down at him slightly annoyed. Just leave me alone Harry thinks to himself. But, he still wants to be polite even though Louis attitude is getting on his nerves. 

Harry's not incredibly taller than him but enough that it's noticeable. Louis grabs his hand and leads him over to the closest drinking game which so happened to be cup pong. Of course. But, this touching thing has got to stop or else Harry's gonna lose it. 

"You know how to play? Of course you don't, you're a transfer." Louis says which ticks Harry off. Is he trying to say that Harry isn't capable of knowing something. Harry hates assumptions.

"I've never played, but I do know the rules." He says pressing to show that he isn't some idiot who got into college on a whim.

"Well, Let's build your skills, young one, you'll never get as good as me, but you can try." Harry burrows his brows slightly at this comment. His biggest pet peeve is arrogant and narcissistic people and Louis is really pushing that boundary right now. Yet, he smiles a little to be polite. Harry tries a shot but misses and Louis makes almost every shot. Harry starts to grow frustrated at how bad he is and once the game is over he stalks away. 

He knows he's acting childish but he's too drunk to care right now. Honestly he's too drunk to care about a lot right now. Louis notices his mood tho so he comes over to him and touches his shoulder. At this, Harry who is already angry turns around and snaps, "Can all of you stop touching me?" in the sharpest voice he has. 

Louis immediately moves his hand away and steps back. " Shit, I'm sorry, mate I wo-"

"I'm not your mate either, I just met you." Harry's really getting in it.

"Wow calm down, it's not that serious." Louis replies, "We're trying to be welcoming and you don't have to be a prick about it." 

Prick

"A prick?" Harry scoffs, "At least I'm not an arrogant arse." Harry is proper wasted right now. He's barely making sense. Louis knows this though and settles on talking to him the next day when he isn't wasted. So his only answer to Harry is to turn around and say,

"Bye Harry." As he grabs the same man from earlier and drags him onto the dance floor. 

Fuck he's such an arse!! harry thinks to himself. But, he can't stop staring. There's just something about him that's so captivating and charismatic. Harry knows that if he wasn't so drunk, he would probably find him endearing and funny, but right now he's offended that he just walked away. He can't look away from Louis and that guy dancing, getting closer, bodies touching, and...... they snog. Proper snog, not like a peck. At this Harry rolls his eyes annoyed. Louis definitely met this man tonight and he's already having fun while I sit here angry. 

Louis could feel Harry's stare on him. He wants to show him how much fun he's having to prove the point that Harry's acting like a brat. He's snogging this brilliant man he opens his eyes to look at Harry. The man starts kissing him on his neck and Louis gives Harry a small smirk that communicates two words. 

I won.

That's it. Harry doesn't like Louis. He's toying with him. And Harry is a lot more bothered than usual. If this had happened with Niall or even Liam, he wouldn't give a shit. But Louis just rubs Harry the wrong way and he can't put his finger on why. 

Zayn comes back up to Harry touching his shoulder again, but Harry moves his shoulder away. 

"Hey, How's it going?"

"Louis' a prick." Harry blurts out unintentionally. All Zayn does is laugh. 

"Yeah he can be, but that's a reason we love him." Zayn says as he pats his back. "Give him more of a chance, you don't know him yet." But how could Harry know him? What else is there to know? "Well, I'm starting to get tired so I'm kicking people out in an hour latest. Enjoy yourself, but I got to sleep." 

"Thank you Zayn. This party is massive!" he just nods and laughs as he's ushered away by some of the people working the drinks. 

At this time, Harry seeks out to find his flatmates and he finally stumbles on them. They're snogging. Of course they are. Hopefully nothing shitty comes of this, but if they're happy whatever. But Harry wants to leave. So he goes around and finds John. They decided to take a taxi back to Harry's flat as he's spending the night as he texts Niall to let him know where they are and that he hope he's 

*having fun ;)* 

Harry and John begin their walk of shame to their car as they had just showed up at the house. But, as they walk through the clumps of people, harry spots a certain someone again. This time outside on the porch with the same guy from earlier. This bothers Harry so much but he doesn't understand why. 

"See you tomorrow mat!" Louis yells to him.

"We're not mates!" harry repeats from their fight earlier. 

"I'll convince you." is all Louis says and Harry is too drunk to care right now. Or until he got into the car. 

The entire way back to the flat and up the stairs he couldn't stop thinking about Louis' voice going I'll convince you. Does he understand that I don't WANT it. But, Harry remembers in the moment he lays on his bed that he's too drunk to think at the moment while he looks at the spinning room surrounding him. He almost instantly falls asleep with 3 words repeating in his head.

I'll convince you.


	3. Three : The Cafe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis see each other.

The next morning, Harry woke up with a POUNDING headache. He couldn't understand his surroundings, it's all still so new, but he soon remembers it's his new bedroom. All of a sudden all the bad decisions from the night before come rushing into his already throbbing head.

I'll convince you.

Fuck off, Louis. He's still angry. He guesses he wasn't as drunk as he thought but still drunk enough to get into fights. He slowly sits up in his bed and feels this rush of sickness come up from his stomach. He leaps up and to the bathroom to let out all of the extra alcohol from the night before. It's disgusting. But, he doesn't stop for a few minutes.

After sitting on the floor waiting for 5 min to pass without puking. He finally gets up to get ready for the day. He feels like shit but not nearly as bad as he would if he didn't puke. He showers, brushes his teeth ten times almost, and gets dressed for the day.

He suddenly feels this pang of guilt for his fight with Louis last night. He was very irritable and yes Louis was being a grade A prick, but he still feels bad. It's his curse, to feel bad for being mean, even if the person deserved it. This is why he's very forgiving, to a fault.

He walks out to the living room finally to find a sleeping John on his sofa. He looks at his phone to check the time, and it's 9 am. He's shocked at how early he woke up because usually after a night out he's asleep until half passed 2. In a way this boosted Harry's confidence a bit for the day to come. He honestly feels great now with all the toxins out of his body and now all he can think about is food.

There's a cafe down the street within walking distance, so Harry decides to go alone and just enjoy the food he so desperately needs right now.

The walk wasn't too long. Once he got there he walked up to order at the front of the cafe and ordered a good big egg breakfast with some tea. He feels on top of the world in this moment, out on his own for the first time, ordering a big meal after a night of drinking, and feeling great despite that.

After 10 short minutes he finally gets his food. Excited, he grabs it and walks outside to sit at one of the empty tables to devour his breakfast. And all of a sudden hears, "Harry!" In a voice familiar. He turns and sees a smiley Louis walking towards him. Visibly annoyed Harry says, "Hi" as he rolls his eyes and sits down at his table now not having an amazing morning.

"You had quite the night, last night. How you feeling?"

"Fine. Thanks." Harry's being very short with him in hopes he'll go away because at this moment he's still cross with him. But without invitation he sits down on the other side of the small table.

"Why are you here?" Harry blurts our. His bluntness will be his downfall, yet Louis doesn't seem put off by it at all, he actually smiles at the question.

"What, I can't go for a morning stroll?" Sarcasm heavy in his words. "I wanted food too, I see you had the same idea." And points to my bag of food. Harry stays quiet he doesn't want to keep fueling this conversation more than he has to.

"You were on one last night Harold." Harry's head ticks up at that.

"That's not my name" he says coldly but Louis just smiles.

"I like it, though. So I'm going to call you Harold." Harry feels his cheeks begin to go red with anger again. He doesn't understand why Louis triggers this reaction in him but he can't stop it.

"Why do you insist on being an arse?" Harry says out loud. He doesn't care about sounding rude at this point he's proper crossed.

"Oh really? An Arse? Most people find me  
Charming." Harry scoffs immediately at this comment.

"Charming? More like condescending." And this is the comment that hitches a slight falter in Louis' persona. Harry can tell, Louis is acting this was purposefully. Nothing about his words and actions feel genuine at all, yet in that moment he saw a slight moment of emotion that he could relate to.

"Well you don't need to be a prick all the time either so I think I'm fine." Louis begins breaking down his facade as he begins showing looks of anger and annoyance at Harry's attitude.

"So did you just come to insult me or was there something you wanted?" Harry asks fully aware that Louis had a purpose coming to speak with him. Which is confirmed by Louis big sigh.

"Zayn wanted me to invite you to a get together he's having tonight. It's small just our group of friends, but if you're going to keep being like this then I wouldn't bother coming." Louis is obviously growing his anger to match Harry's.

"I'll come. Don't worry, you're the only one who pisses me off." Harry smiles in the pettiest way he can.

"Oh fuck off." Is all he says as he reaches in his pocket for his phone. "I'll give you his number so you two can talk, then I won't have to piss you off anymore than I want to." Louis reads off Zayn's number as Harry puts it in his phone.

"Well I guess I'll see you there... mate." Louis says on purpose to annoy him, which he succeeds at cus then Harry quickly responds.

"I can't believe people actually think you're charming when all you are is a dick" But as the words come out of his mouth he instantly regrets it. And his eyes show that, as Louis can see. This hurts him. But Louis quickly plasters a fake smile on his face as he gets up from the table.

"Bye, Harold." Is all he responds with before walking into the cafe. He did it again! He just walked away instead of fighting back. Even though Harry definitely regrets being such a prick, he still wanted that banter, yet Louis is refusing to give it to him. This losses him off because almost every other person he fights with, it escalates, but not with him. And he said HAROLD. That's not even his name!!

Angry that Louis ruined his morning, he stalks back to his flat and decides to text Zayn about his party tonight.

-

A few hours pass and all of Harry's flat mates and John finally wake up from their sleep as Harry sits in the kitchen contemplating everything. Zayn was so excited to get his text, and he immediately gave Harry all the info and said he could bring friends. He'll need it, after that conversation with Louis. He'll need some moral support. Yet, Zayn seems super kind and great so he's slightly excited to hang out with him, but not excited to see whatever shit Louis wants to stir up tonight.

"I got an invite to a small party tonight and I want you guys to come" Harry tells his flat mates as they all made their way to the living room fully awake.

"Why?" Niall asks confused. Harry then explains the whole story, how he met Louis and Zayn and their friends and then got into a fight with Louis last night and this morning and now is being invited to party with them and needs moral support to get through it all.

"Damn, Harry. Already making enemies on night one of Freshers week." Harry just sighs in defeat and puts his head in his hands.

"Of course I'll go, I'll just need some extra alcohol to get through the night." Harry seems Liams hand go under the table to touch Nialls leg. Interesting.

"We'll make it fun" Liam says. By this time John is long gone and back home and now it's just the couple and the third wheel.

"Thank you so much. It's tonight at 9 at the house the pre-party was at. It's Louis' house."

"Wait WHAT?" Niall yells almost spilling the drink of water he had in his mouth. Harry looks back confused.

"What?"

"What's That Louis' kids last name??" Niall asks.

"Erm...." Harry doesn't actually know, "I don't know."

"That house belongs to one of the most famous families in England." Harry looks baffled at this news, " have you ever heard of the Tomlinson's?" Niall asks dumbfounded.

Harry almost spits out his drink. "WHAT. Like Royalty Tomlinson's?" Niall nods.

"That's their family home!" Harry sits back shocked.

"That was, Louis TOMLINSON? I just fought with someone in the royal family?" Harry feels slightly guilty now, just because he doesn't want to instantly be hated by their family, BUT it doesn't change the fact that Louis is a grade A prick and Harry calms down again.

"Lets hope you don't get arrested or something." Liam says. Harry rolls his eyes at this attempt at a joke.

"Well you'll probably get to meet him tonight. Just leave my name out of it." Harry advises.

-

After all day of waiting around, overthinking about the party, and trying to pick the best outfit, Harry finally settles on a nice pink top and some nice cut jeans that shape him well. He wants to look good to show off in front of Louis. He doesn't know why he wants to , he just feels the need to. He wants to be confident.

Harry goes to Nialls room and sits on his bed with Liam waiting for Niall to get ready. He's so indecisive it's funny.

"Should I wear this? No. Or this? No. THIS!" He finally picks out one of Harry's shirts he gave him yesterday to try on. Of course. Once Niall is ready they start to make their way to the party.

Harry is anxious at what might happen tonight. Will Louis be a prick again? Will Harry be a prick again? Will it be fun? How small is it really? All these questions stirring in his mind as they finally show up to this large mansion for the second night in a row. Harry's visually nervous to Niall and Liam but after a few deep breaths, he's ready to go in and show Louis who Harry Styles REALLY is.


	4. Four : Paranoia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys play a game :)

Harry Niall and Liam walk into the huge house again and are met with very familiar smells of mint, vodka, and tobacco that they were surrounded with the night prior. Everything seems almost identical to the pre party, but with a much smaller group of people.

Harry likes that they can just drink and relax surrounded by hopefully new friends, and not be bumping into a bunch of random people. Zayn immediately notices the trio walk through the front door as he stands up from the sofa facing the door.

"Harry! Mate! You made it!" He speed walks over to them with a big dorky smile on his face, "And these must be your mates." And holds out his hand.

"Erm Yeah this is Niall and Liam." they all shake hands in a strangely formal way as Niall and Liam exchange small, "Hi"s to Zayn.

Why are all these people so prissy? It's weird. Harry thinks to himself.

"Come in, grab a drink and sit! We're all just chilling in the living room." Zayn walks over to the kitchen to grab a drink and go back to the seat he stood up from. The three flatmates look at each other. Niall and Liam with a concerned expression on their faces.

"What?" Harry says.

"That was Zayn Malik." They both look surprised, "He's the most popular guy at this university! His paren't donated for the entire football field!"

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner??" Harry says back surprised at all of these high profile people he's meeting.

"I don't know! I guess I just blanked." Niall responds.

"To be completely honest I wasn't really listening before." Liam says with a small chuckle. Harry usually would be annoyed by this, but it makes him laugh instead.

"I'm going to get a drink, I'm too sober for this." Harry says before stalking off to the kitchen.

"Same here." both the boys follow after him. Harry decides on a beer to start out the night but plans on moving his way up to vodka. He decides to leave the boys and he walks out into the living room, but he stops in his tracks once he enters the room because, Louis. There he is. Just sitting there with that dumb smile on his face with a girl on his lap.

UGH. Harry accidentally says out loud. His eyes widen as he realized what he just did. But, thankfully, as he looks around, no one looked up. He turns his head back in the direction he was looking before and - Louis.

Staring at him. He heard it. He must've because his brows are furrowed with anger. At this unexpected eye contact, Harry feels something stir inside him, something that he can only identify as rage.

Louis fucking Tomlinson. He's fucking ROYALTY. And Harry can't even stand the sight of him. He rips his stare away from Louis and finds it upon Zayn. He begins to walk over to Zayn, but here's, "Oi! Harold!" He flicks his head around back at Louis. His face full of distaste. Louis has this evil smirk on his face. He knows that he makes Harry angry and he likes it. He gestures his head as to tell Harry to go over there. He really wants to say no and go talk to Zayn and ignore Louis all night, but everything inside of him is telling him to go over to him. So he obliges.

"What Loulou?" Harry says just to piss him off. Which he does successfully because Louis' brows furrow even more. At this Harry imitates Louis' smirk from earlier.

"You see this chap? He's my new mate, Harold." He starts saying to the girl sitting on his lap, who's obviously flirting with him. This sight makes Harry almost want to vomit. "He's new, meaning he's still a bit of a pussy when it come's to partying. You should've seen him last night." The girl chuckles as she looks up at the towering frame of Harry looking down at them ready to explode.

"Shut the fuck up! I'm not a pussy!" Harry raises his voice but not enough to go over the semi-loud music playing.Louis just laughs.

"oh really?" His disgusting sarcasm bleeds through his words, "Then prove it. Kiss someone."

"What?"

"Kiss someone, or else I'll just keep telling people how much of a pussy you are." He finishes in a sing song voice that pushes Harry over the edge. He needs to prove this to him. He doesn't even know Harry is gay, but Harry wants him to, for some reason. At this moment Zayn gets up again to find another drink and Harry found his target. He walks up to him and whispers in his ear first.

"Hey can I kiss you?" Harry doesn't feel comfortable not having permission before. Zayn's head goes back to look at Harry confused but then looks over to see a very focused Louis on the both of them. At this Zayn understands what's going on and smirks with a small nod.

At this, Harry leans in for a kiss, only now Zayn is in on it and the peck Harry thought this would be ends up into a full on snog, in front of the entire living room. Harry in the middle of a party snogging one of the most popular people in the school, what a first week this is.

The kiss is soft but rough at the same time. His breath tasted both of strawberries and vodka as their kiss started to involve tongue. After maybe 30 seconds of this, they break their kiss. Looking at each other once they separate. Zayn leans in to Harry's ear to whisper to him, "I think you won." before smirking at him again and walking off.

Harry turns his head to look at Louis, who's jaw is almost on the floor. Harry feels accomplished in this moment. Finally, he won for ONCE. He gives Louis a big, I told you so, smile and walks off into the kitchen to grab another drink as he already finished his first.

Niall comes up behind him immediately and spins him around forcefully to look at him.

"What?" Harry says almost sounding like a 12 year old child.

"You just- Did you just snog Zayn-fucking-Malik???" The shock in his voice makes Harry chuckle.

"Yup." Giving Niall a big dumb smile. He was a great kisser actually. Harry hasn't had much to go off of , but that was definitely top 3 tier. Honestly, though he got more enjoyment out of proving Louis wrong than the actual kiss. Zayn played along once he realized what was going on, it couldn't have been better. Nialls mouth is wide open.

"Close your mouth, Ni, or you'll catch a bug." Harry says to him as he opens his first mixed drink, strawberry vodka lemonade. His favorite. He closes his mouth and another person comes up behind me, "That was one hell of a kiss, mate!" Zayn says while grabbing Harry's shoulder, Harry just laughs and Zayn joins in.

"I knew he was going to try and pull some shit with you, so I'm glad I could help." Zayn continues, "You really make him mad, Harold." He says sarcastically to signal to Harry that he knows Louis' nickname for him. Harry just rolls his eyes.

"Of course, I do. I'm the only one who doesn't stroke his ego." Zayn lets out a big laugh at this and Niall is just dumb-foundedly watching our conversation. But, looks down once they turn to look at him.

"Well, we're about to start a game of Paranoia! Do you wanna play?" He signals to both Harry and Niall.

"I've actually never played." Harry really isn't that educated on party games yet.

"It's easy to learn on the way, come on." He jerks his head to signal us to follow him out to the living room again but this time everyone's sitting in a circle.

"Do you know how to play this?" Harry whispers to Niall, definitely not confident that he can 'learn on the way'.

"Yeah, you see that bottle Zayn's holding?" Harry nods, "Someone whispers a 'who's most likely to' kind of question in the person sitting next to them's ear and they have to answer out loud. The answer to every question is a name of someone in the room."

"Why is it called paranoia?" Harry interrupts.

"Well, if the person who's name was said want's to hear the question they take a shot, or flip a coin with a non alcoholic version. Take a shot, you hear the question, no shot means no question, hence-"

"paranoia." Harry finishes for him. Niall nods, as Harry understands now.

"Now everyone!" Zayn yells as he turns down the music, "We're going to start with shots, but with a 3 shot limit each so choose your shots wisely." Harry's starting to get nervous. He looks around the room to find an opening and fuck. The only one open is next to the devil himself. Niall notices too.

"I'll sit next to him." He says immediately and Harry's shoulders visibly relax. He mouths "thank you"

They take their seats and Louis looks over to find Harry and Niall sitting next to him. The tension immediately grows thick and Niall instantly looks uncomfortable.

"Where's Liam?" Harry ask to break the tension and to hopefully deter Louis from speaking to him.

"He left early. He was puking in the toilets"

"Alone?" Harry seems surprised that Niall would ever let someone as sick as that leave alone.

"No of course not! John came and picked him up." Harry relaxes again. Today has really been a stress inducing day for Harry.

"So, Who want's to start??" Zayn says and no one answers. After a few seconds pass Zayn continues, "Okay I'll start." in defeat. We start out the game but most of the people playing, Harry doesn't even know so his name never gets brought up until-

"Harry!" Louis blurts out. He turns his head in shock.

"What?" Harry responds.

"Nah that's not how it works sweet cheeks, you need to take a shot." And all of a sudden a bottle and a shot glass gets handed to him. He needs to know. He pours himself a shot of whatever this is, whiskey? He holds the glass up to the circle before taking it down in one swallow. God that was disgusting. He takes a few seconds to recoup himself.

"So?" He asks Louis impatiently.

"I'm not going to tell you." Louis says. Harry is already ticked off and now with another shot of alcohol in his system his filter is getting thinner and thinner.

"Look at you being all cheeky," Harry says in the most condescending tone, "That's not how it works sweet cheeks." As he repeats Louis' words back to him, a scowl grows on his face and Harry soon after. Before anything more can happen, the petite girl who was sitting on his lap interrupted, "I asked, who is most likely to write a book on their sex life?" Everyone bursts into laughter, It's a clever question, but why Harry?

"Undoubtedly, it would be a short read." Louis adds eliciting more laughter from the circle. This leaves Harry FUMING. But, before anything can escalate, Louis is already whispering into Niall's ear.

"Harry" Niall says, but looks at him with the most 'I'm sorry' eyes. Harry looks at him confused, but he hates feeling paranoid.

"Pass me the shot." Harry says again.

"Remember you only get a limit of-" Zayn begins.

"I know I got it." Harry spits. He's not even hiding his anger at this point, now two shots of whiskey moving through him. But, in that moment he realized how rude he was to Zayn. He looks up and mouths 'I'm sorry', Zayn nods in response.

"it was who's most likely to kiss a stranger at a party." This is rigged it has to be, he know Niall would have to pick Harry.

"Oh come on! You dared me to!"Harry spats at Louis.

"Did I?" Louis asks in the most arrogant tone ever. Harry realizes how irrationally angry he's getting and clenches his fists as to help calm himself down. He looks up at Niall, and says, "My turn" with a smile. The fakest smile in existence. Niall leans in and asks the question, "Who do you think get's everything in life handed to them?" Harry immediately knows Niall asked this question on purpose to stir the pot. There's only one answer, and that's Louis.

"Louis" Harry says easily, squinting his eyes in annoyance at Louis. He m reaches for the bottle of whiskey and another shot glass. Immediately pours himself a shot and downs it. Harry looks at Niall as an ask for him to ask the question instead of him.

"I said," Niall looks at Harry worried, "Who do you think get's everything in life handed to them."

And as the words are said out loud, Harry immediately feels like shit for saying Louis. He definitely believes it, but to point it out like that in front of everyone is low. Louis looks up and meets Harry's eyes. When they looked at each other in that moment, something just clicked. Harry knew immediately how Louis felt, and Louis felt embarrased and hurt. With his eyes wide and hurt, Louis stands up from his spot quietly and goes outside to the backyard. Harry feels like absolute shit, right now. No matter how pompous of a prick Louis is no one deserves that. Harry smacks Niall in the arm, "Don't stir the pot."

Before Harry can understand what he's doing, yep he's drunk, he follows Louis outside and closes the door to give them privacy. He doesn't know why he's being so considerate considering everything Louis said to him back, but to Harry none of that matters. He finds Louis on the porch with his back facing him, and head down in his hands.

"Just get the fuck away from me." Louis says with a crack in his voice.

"Louis, I-" Harry begins. But is met with a "NOW!" from Louis. Harry feels a little taken back but he knows he deserves it for what he said.

"I'm sorry Louis. I really am." Louis doesn't say anything but he lifts his head, back still towards Harry. He stays silent.

"Look, I know we didn't get off on the right foot, but right now, I'm really sorry." Harry doesn't know what else to say because he doesn't want to make excuses, he hates when people do that.

All of a sudden Louis turns around, eyes red with anger and tears. "You don't know SHIT about me, Harry. Nothing!" There's no tears streaming down his face, but it looks like there had been. "You think you can just waltz in here, and be a fucking prick? You don't KNOW ME!" Louis finishes, now standing tall. Harry immediately looks down as an attempt to stop himself from crying.

"You're right. I don't know you." Harry begins, "For some reason you just make me so angry, and I don't know why. I'm sorry for taking that out on you. But, if I do that, I also don't want any hostility on your end either." Louis scoffs.

"Hostility on my end. What the fuck is up with you? I don't have to forgive your stupid ass apology if I don't want to." Louis begins to raise his voice again. Harry nods and looks down at his feet.

"You don't have to, no. But, it won't stop me from apologizing."

"You know what Harry? You can be friends with my friends all you want, you can hang out with Zayn, you can be whatever the fuck, but don't expect shit out of me. Got it? Good." Louis says in the harshest tone before walking past Harry towards the house again, but Harry grabs a hold of his arm before he can fully walk past him, making them touching shoulder to shoulder and faces a few inches from each other.

"Wait." Is all Harry says, he doesn't know what's coming over him in this moment, but he want's to keep talking to Louis, even if it's mostly screaming. But once Harry, understands what's happening in this moment, alcohol not in control anymore he finishes, "I'll leave. I'm sorry again." He let's go of Louis' arm and heads inside immediately to find Niall. He finally spots him with this sophomore chick.

Why did he do that? Why did he want to be close to him that way? Why did he stop him? What's going on?

Harry is so confused he writes it off as him being drunk, but in reality, he knows EXACTLY what he was doing, he just can't admit it yet. He walks up to Niall and grabs his arm.

"We gotta go, now. I don't want to stay." Harry lies, he really just feels awful and wants to give Louis some space. Why did h instantly switch moods. Harry was angry at him one minute and sad for him the next. What's wrong with him?

"Erm, okay?" He turns the the girl and says, "Call me!" Harry rolls his eyes. The two finally start making their way towards the front door but before they can make it, Zayn shows up.

"Hey! Leaving so soon?"

"Erm, yeah, getting tired." Harry lies.

"Well, I know things are a bit tense with you and Louis, but I want to invite you guys to lunch tomorrow. Don't worry, it'll be at mine, and there will be alcohol." Zayn smiles with excitement.

The two boys look at each other as to figure out what their answer is going to be.

"Of course! We'll be there!" Harry blurts out. He for some reason really feels the need to make it up to Louis, somehow. He won't stop until he does, he feels awful and wants to prove to him that Harry isn't some malicious prick of a person, and that they can even maybe, be, friends? He shakes the idea from his head. No, civil. He wants to be civil with him.

"Great! Well I'll see you tomorrow at noon!" Zayn says before stalking off towards the alcohol.

"I want to sleep tomorrow, Haz!"

"Don't worry, I'll just say your hungover." Harry responds quickly. He turns around one last time and his eyes instantly find the red, blue, wet eyes, of one, Louis Tomlinson, staring at him.But instead of anger, it's purely sadness and indifference. This pangs Harry somehow. Anger and sadness are one thing, they're emotions, but indifference. That hurts the most. A lack of emotion, just a shell. Harry feels responsible for this and he breaks their long stare at each other to finally leave the party.

I'll convince you.

I guess, that's out of the question now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for anyone who's reading this! I'm really excited about this story, and I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it!


	5. Five : The Silent Treatment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis ignores Harry

It's been a week since the paranoia party, and Louis has been ignoring Harry at every hangout since. Zayn has been inviting Harry and his flatmates to every get together and they've been having so much fun that They have actually all become fairly close. But, other than the good times, Louis blatantly ignores Harry's entire existence. Especially the first hangout after the party.

"Hey boys!" Zayn bellows once the three of them showed up. Louis looked up from his seat, and meets Harry's eyes. He then immediately moved his gaze away from Harry and the boys. Harry looks down slightly ashamed with a hint of annoyance. Why does he still make him feel so angry? 

But honestly, Louis' silence hurts Harry more than the fighting. Silence is louder than any fight they could've had. At least when you fight, that means you care. 

The entire night, whenever Harry would try to say something, he pretended like he didn't exist and then turn to talk to Niall or Liam, but never Harry. But, with how much Harry disliked the fellow, he doesn't understand why his silence is hurting him so much. He was a prick to him, he shouldn't feel bad. But yet, he does. 

It's been that way ever since, and now that it's a week later and classes have begun, Harry's beginning to get sick of the games. They have a class together too, and Louis continues his silent treatment. They could at least try to be friends, if Louis acknowledged his existence. 

Either way, tonight the friend group is going out for Liam's birthday, including Louis. They've all actually gotten close, the only one who hasn't with Louis is Harry. And for some reason this feels like a good time to show off again with his outfits, as they're going to a fancy restaurant, 'Zayn's treat'. He looks through his closet for the most perfect outfit, not too flashy, but flashy enough to get his attention. No! Not to get his attention! Harry's thoughts swirl. The lack of attention from Louis is driving him crazy. But why should he care? He didn't like him when he was giving him attention before. 

But, he's been seeing the way he is around the other boys, how he really is and it makes him slightly jealous. 

"Sick Niall! Those trousers are proper fit!" Louis yells at Niall at their last get together. Niall blushes at this comment. 

"Thanks mate!" Niall responds.

"And Liam! Look at you, you look better everyday I see you!"

"Thank you, Lou." Harry's flatmates look at him almost expecting the train of compliments to continue, but after Liam thanks him, he turns around and walks away. It's a blow to Harry's small but present ego every time. 

Niall walks into his bedroom as Harry continue to look for the perfect outfit.

"Hey, mate. Do you by chance..." Harry knew exactly what he was asking for.

"Yeah, here." he hands him a few tops to go with his nice trousers.

"Liam and I have been getting really close, and I wanted to look good tonight. I think I'm going to ask him out on a proper date." Niall whispers. Niall? on a date?? Who is he?

"A date? Wow, you really have changed since you got to uni." Harry jokes.

"No, I changed when I met him." At this Harry smiles big and wide. 

"I'm proud of you, mate! That's a big deal!" harry gives him a small hug. "How are you going to ask?" 

"Well, for his gift, I got him a nice watch, and under it is a note that says, 'Wear this on our first date.'" Harry's surprised because he's never met this Niall, he's only ever known the wild, player Niall.

"Woah that's super romantic. I think he'll like it." He smiles back at Niall. Niall then clears his throat as to signal for a change in conversation.

"So, erm, Lou's still ignoring you, eh?"

"Yeah, what about it?" Harry snaps slightly, Louis is sort of a sore subject for him, and Niall knows that, which explains why he wasn't surprised with Harry's attitude. 

" I think you should talk to him, like really talk. He doesn't seem like a malicious guy at all. I mean yeah he seems like he has a lot of skeletons in his closet, but he's been really cool with us."

"He doesn't want to talk to me, Niall. He made that perfectly clear last week." Harry's growing anger turns into hurt when he thinks back to that night again.

"I think you should at least try." At this Harry moves his head to meet Niall's eyes, which are pleading with him. Harry's furrowed expression softens when he sees the desperation in his friends eyes. Reluctantly, he responds with a measly, "Okay, I'll try." And Niall smiles softly at him. 

"Well mate pick your outfit! We're running late!" Niall urges as he looks over to the clock next to Harry's bed. Niall gets up and goes to his room to change, and Harry changes as fast as he can into black high waisted trousers with suspenders, and a nice, flowy, pink top. The top buttons of which are unbuttoned to show off a bit of skin and some tattoos. He combs up his hair a bit to fall nicely to the sides and sprays on some of his favorite cologne. He's ready to make some heads turn tonight. 

Niall, has offered to drive as to let Liam drink as much as he wants, since it is his birthday. Niall grabs Liam's fight and the three of them make their way to Niall's car. Harry won't lie, Niall's driving is atrocious, but if it's the only way, then so be it. He wants to be a gentleman. The entire way there, Niall and Liam hold hands on the center console. Harry watches from the backseat with a sense of pride in Niall for going for a real relationship, not just a hookup. It's nice to see.

They finally roll up to this really fancy Italian restaurant at the literal top of this hill about 15 min out from the university. The view is crazy wicked, you could see the football field Zayn's dad paid for from here. The three of them get out of the car once their parked and begin walking to the front door when they stop. Niall turns to loo at Liam and begins his "I want to date you" speech. Harry smiles in excitement, but feels weird being the only one there. 

Harry decides to turn around to watch the view, but also simultaneously listen to their conversation.

"Liam, I just wanted to say, I've been having so much fun with you ever since you moved in a few weeks ago and I wanted to get you something special for your birthday." Niall hands the gift to Liam. 

"I hope you like it." Liam looks down at the small box with a goofy smile on his face. Harry slowly tries to turn to watch so his body is half facing them half facing the view. 

Liam opens the gift slowly which triggers Niall's impatience, as Harry could see his leg begin to shake. 

"Oh Niall! This watch is gorgeous how much did you-" He must've found the note, Niall looks worried but waits for Liam to finish his sentence. 

"Wait, Niall. Really? You want to?" Liam says almost as if he'd been asking Niall for this for a while, which come to think of it is probably the case. And the reason why this is such a big romantic gesture. 

"I'm ready, Li." Niall says with a tint of excitement. Liam immediately goes in for this tight and loving hug. Once they let up, they begin to kiss, but it's more of a loving kiss than a snog. 

"Happy Birthday." Niall says to cap off this exchange.

"Thank you." Liam responds with that goofy smile ten times wider. 

This was Harry's cue to turn back around and begin ushering them to the door of the restaurant. "Come on lads, we got a dinner to get to." They both laugh and all 3 of them walk inside, Niall and Liam arm in arm. 

"Hi. Party of 5 for Liam?" Harry says to the woman behind the wooden podium. 

"Right this way." The lady escorts us outside and we see our table. Zayn and Louis haven't showed up yet, as usual, they're always late, but so are these boys, so thee isn't much room to judge. 

"It was requested you all had a table with the view. If you need anything, Christoff will be waiting on you, enjoy your meal." She walks back inside leaving us 3 at a table for 5, alone outside with the most incredible view Harry has probably ever seen. 

"Okay lads! We're here so the party can start!" Harry hears a loud Louis coming from behind him. He rolls his eyes at this comment. All three of them stand to say hi to the boys, all hugging, except one pair obviously. harry plops down after hugging Zayn knowing Louis won't partake in the casual greeting. At this Niall looks at Harry with that look. The one that repeats the words, "You should at least try" ringing in his head. 

Everyone finds their seats and for some reason, Harry gets stuck sitting right next to the man who hates his guts more than anything. Harry looks at him in an attempt at a small smile greeting. Louis senses the eyes on him, but doesn't raise his glance at Harry. He looks down in defeat, then tries to move on in the conversation the other boys are having right now. 

-

After their long meal, and Louis ignoring Harry all night they all begin to order more and more drinks and walking around the balcony. Apparently Zayn rented the entire balcony for the night, of course, but Harry isn't complaining. It's gorgeous here.

Niall and Zayn are the only one's not drinking tonight, so they can drive but the rest of them are meaning the birthday boy, Harry, and Louis. A great combination. 

So the boys decide to sit back down as they order coffee to try and sober up, yet still pretty tipsy. 

"So, Louis." Liam starts, he's definitely the most drunk considering that once you turn 18, free birthday dessert turns into free birthday shots. "Why don't you talk to Harry?" Everyone freezes. Liam wasn't there that night, Harry forgot he left early. All of them shift uncomfortably, and even drunk Liam notices. 

"Oh, was I not supposed to ask that?" Harry immediately looks down, embarrassed. But to his surprise, Louis decides to answer, or at least attempts to.

"Erm." He begins, "Well, um." Harry decides to answer for him to safe him the trouble of having to acknowledge his existence. 

"I was a prick to him." Is all Harry says. Louis didn't expect him to say that. He thinks he probably expected him to blame him or not say anything at all. His eyes widen and he actually looks up and at Harry for once. On purpose, this time. Harry meets his gaze on him and they look into each others eyes for a good 10 seconds. 

His eyes are so blue. This gaze is different than any other gaze they've had. Harry's chest leaps a bit with excitement that he's being noticed by him, but also coupled with fear of what he's going to do or say. But, things clicked again now, just like they did at the party. They instantly mutually understood each other in a strange way. Harry could tell that Louis was surprised but happy with Harry's response, and Louis could see the apologies repeating in Harry's eyes. 

After the longer than normal stare they shared, they look down and fidget their hands almost in unison. The 3 boys are staring at them too, shocked. Mostly because Zayn and Niall were there, and Liam is pissed to the moon right now.

Zayn is such a good host though, because he instantly sparks a new conversation about which Game of Throne character deserved to live the most in the last season, an Harry immediately tunes them out. 

He gets up from his seat and begins to walk into the restaurant to find the toilets. Louis looks at him as he gets up and walks away. Harry wanted his attention, but now that he's getting it, it feels weird. Yet happily overwhelming.

He finds his way to the toilets and locks himself inside on of the privated toilet rooms. He didn't really need to go he just wanted some time alone. But, soon after he sits down the door opens again. Harry thinks nothing of it. 

As he sits on the toilet, he thinks about everything. Just sits and begins to get emotional. This is why he left because he didn't want any of them to see him like this or think he isn't strong. He also doesn't want to be victimized, especially since he knows he was in the wrong. But, that doesn't mean he doesn't have emotions that need to come out every now and then. His guilt eats him up inside, and he knows he can't force forgiveness out of Louis so he has to sit in silence. As he begins to calm down more and feels as though he can face the boys again he finally stands and walks out of the stall, to find a scared Louis waiting. 

Harry looks dumbfounded. He probably just needs the toilets too. Harry walks passed him to the sink as he washes his very clean hands to pretend that he needed the toilets when he came in. Louis is leaning against one of the sinks, the one next to Harry. 

"You, know you were a prick, right." He blurts out. How many times do they need to go over this.

"Yeah?" He says both as confirming his judgement and asking why he's asking in the first place. 

"But...." He trails off, "So was I." He finishes. Wow. Harry did NOT see this coming. But, he's not wrong, so Harry stays silent and looks up to Louis and their eyes meet again. This time it's pure understanding. He's being genuine. 

"You mean that? Or are you just trying to rile me up?" Harry asks unconvinced, even though inside, he knows.

"I do. Now don't make me say it again or else I'll cut off your arm." There he is, giving some of that banter back to Harry. He feels as though he can breathe again. 

"I won't. As long as you stop ignoring my existence." He says with enough joke in it to seem funny. He needed an ultimatum though, this whole thing is exhausting. Louis stands up from his sink and reaches out his had to Harry.

"Deal." Wow, formal. Harry reaches for Louis' hand, but right before they touch Louis jerks away with, "But this doesn't mean I like you." They shake hands to seal the deal and Louis finishes his sentence, "Yet." They let go and Louis turns to walk away and is about to open the door when Harry says three words that stop Louis in his tracks. 

"I'll convince you."

Louis turns to look at Harry one last time before leaving out the door with a smirk. He knows exactly what Harry's doing. He walks out and Harry feels elated at this. He doesn't understand why Louis' attention is so important to him, but this entire night felt like a high, and Harry is ready for more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! let me know if you have any constructive criticism and feedback or what you think! I'm currently doing some uni courses right now, so I've been doing this in my free time, but ngl I love it! Thank you if you enjoy reading this! It means a lot.


	6. Six : Alone With Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis hang out

A few more weeks go by of the same old same old. Louis is talking to Harry now, and slowly they've been able to tolerate each other. They still don't really talk to each other, but they don't completely ignore each other. 

"It's still a little awkward." Harry explains to Niall. 

"Maybe you should hang out with him one on one, like for your class, you can sit with him or work together." He really wants them to be friends because the other 4 boys are super close, and not to say Harry isn't close to them, but he's not on the same level with Louis as the whole group, and it shows.

"I don't know how to do that without it being awkward."

"Haz, you've known each other for almost two months now. I think it's time." Niall is acting like his father. He hasn't thought a lot about his father since he walked out on them. He has a new family now and everything, and Harry resents him for it.

"Don't patronize me. I'll figure something out." Harry says to shut him up about this topic.

"Good." Niall says as if he won, "Well, Li and I are going out tonight so don't wait up for us." Liam and Niall have progressed to full on relationship status now. It's so funny to see Niall so whipped, but Liam is probably the best thing that could've ever happened to him. 

"Ni, you talking about me again?" Liam yells from the common room.

"Noooo." He says with a smirk and then leaves the room to a lonely Harry sitting on his bed contemplating his plans for the night since, his flat mates are going out on a date. SO he decides to message Zayn. 

*Hey what are you up to tonight?*

No answer. Great. 

Harry has finished all of his school work and wants to do something tonight, but the only person he could reach out to is.... Louis. But that's so awkward, as they haven't said more than 10 words to each other since the toilet incident. Could this be the turning point or the thing that stops them from talking. All of a sudden though he receives a text. A name plastered on the face of his phone shocks Harry.

LOUIS 

Harry immediately checks the message and reads;

*Hey, did you finish the finance homework?* 

Harry rolls his eyes at this. Of course it was about homework. Why else would Louis be willing to message Harry?

*Yeah? What do you need.*

Does he just want to copy it or does he need help? I mean he doesn't even need to be in college, he already has his life planned out for him. 

*Do you understand of it? Because I'm lost.* Harry lets out a small chuckle, of course.

*Yes, do you want my help?* Maybe this will give Harry something to do tonight. God this is sad, the fact that he feels the need to help with homework as an excuse to have something to do tonight. 

*Yeah :/ u can come over right now if ur not already doing something incredibly boring with your night* Harry scoffs at this. There he is again. He was starting to get worried, Louis was going soft again. 

*I'll be right over, dumbass* He responds to give him some banter back. Show him he isn't some boring bloke. 

* X)* Louis texts lastly. This is going to be weird. Harry doesn't know how this is going to go, if it'll be incredibly awkward or surprisingly easy. But, no matter what it is, Harry is incredibly nervous going into it. 

He wants to make himself at least semi-presentable. He chooses some bootcut jeans and a t-shirt. Casual, but cute enough to go out to lunch, kind of look. He grabs his bag of books and phone and makes his way to Louis' house.

-

Pulling up to Louis' mansion in the daylight makes Harry feel a different kind of way. He's been here a few times over the last few weeks, but never without the other boys, or at night. He parks in the big driveway in the front as he situates himself before mustering up the courage to actually go up to the huge mansion. The sun hits it in just the perfect angle to glimmer all of the glass decorations in its structure and it details all the things he'd seen before but, never paid attention to. It's beautiful. 

After a few short minutes, he gets out and walks up to the front door to give a big knock, so that they can hear it. The door opens almost immediately by a short woman in a uniform of sorts. She has dark hair and an olive skin tone. She's young, seems to be in her 40's but greets Harry with the energy of a 20 year old. 

"Hello, you must be Harry! Louis is in his room." This isn't his mum, so this must be a housemaid for them. She must get paid a massive amount with this family. Harry just nods and makes his way inside. During the day this place shines with beauty. The sunlight beams in through the windows in the perfect way. One beam illuminating the painting him and Louis met gazing at. The smells too. Someone is cooking, because Harry's stomach grumbles at the mere smell of chicken radiating through the house. He stops to look at the painting again, admiring the newly lit piece, the sunflowers, and that sad girl. 

"You really love that painting don't you?" He hears from behind him. He jumps slightly at the sudden speech, but turns slightly to look at Louis and the painting. 

"It's beautiful, Louis. Especially in the light." Harry knows he sounds dorky explaining his passion for art in this way. He looks down and continues, "Sorry, I just love art. That's why I'm so experimental with my clothing."

"Oh really? Jeans and a t-shirt are really breaking the records for most unique look of the century." Louis says in his almost adorable sarcastic voice, as he rolls his eyes.

"Oi! Shut it! You know what I mean." He defends. Louis lets out a laugh. A real laugh. At something, Harry said. This is so out of the ordinary, Harry actually joins in, and they both laugh together. 

"Well, let's hope your finance skills are amazing, because this is the worst subject I've ever taken. And I took physics." Louis starts towards his bedroom. Harry chuckles under his breath, low enough for Louis not to hear and follows right behind him.

Harry's never actually been in Louis bedroom. The boys would all just hang out in the living room. But, Louis room is even more Louis than Harry thought it would be. He thought with the way the rest of the house looked, his room had to be just as clean and put together, but no. There's clothes everywhere, His bed is messy, and the walls are covered with different artists and shows he loves. Harry looks around his room looking at all of his different interests ranging from Hamilton, to Queen. In a way, seeing Louis like this regular guy through his room really breaks down the facade he puts up to everyone else even more. 

"I love Queen!" Harry blurts out. Instantly regretting it. He didn't come here to talk about paintings and Freddie Mercury. 

"Erm, yeah. They're actually my favorite band." Louis says as he looks down and shuffling his feet. What is this? Louis? Nervous and timid? This is odd to Harry because Louis is the most outrageous and confident person he's ever met, but here he is professing his love for Queen looking like a damn puppy dog.

"Mine too actually." Harry responds to make Louis feel more comfortable. Wow. He never thought he'd ever be making Louis feel comfortable. But, this tension in the air is confusing Harry so he tries to change the subject back to school, "So, what are you having trouble with?" Louis shakes his head as if he's shaking the thoughts he's having out. 

"Erm, Just..." And they begin discussing all of the problems Louis doesn't understand, which is almost the entire assignment. This has Harry rolling his eyes during most of this makeshift tutoring session. He's never seen Louis act this laid back. Is this how he really is? Is this who he is behind closed doors? Harry actually likes this Louis. He's not a complete arse, and they've actually been able to agree on a lot and share real laughs with each other, enough that they move off of homework all together. 

"Oh come on! She doesn't seem that old!" Harry pleads with Louis.

"Harold, she walks with a cane and remembers when the Queen first took control. She's ancient." Harry rolls his eyes, mostly at the fact that he knows he's right.

"Okay well, her being old doesn't mean she's going to give you a pass on never doing your work." Louis looks at him with a sarcastic fake look of shock on his face and he softly shoves Harry on his arm. 

"Watch me Harold." Louis says in a sing song voice.

"That's not my name." Harry says back in the exact same way to mock him. 

"Well, I'm still going to call you that, it suits you." Harry looks at him with a soft smile but slight confusion. That was probably the closest thing Harry will get to a compliment from him and he's never going to forget that this was the moment Louis Tomlinson gave Harry Styles a compliment. 

"Anyways," Louis continues, "I'm getting tired of this, I think I get most of it now, and I'll do the rest tomorrow, but it's frying my brain. Do you wanna do something?" An invite to hang just the two of them? Interesting.

"Sure. What do you have in mind?" Harry seems almost giddy at the fact that Louis thinks he's cool enough to spend time with. Harry still thinks Louis is a monumental prick at times, but he can't lie that he's been growing on him a little.

"Well, the sun is going down and I know this super cool place to watch it. We can grab food from Lucy on our way out."

"Lucy?" harry questions. 

"Oh, she's our housemaid. You probably met her when you came in." Harry was right. 

"Are you sure? I don't want to intrude."

"Nah it's okay! She always makes extra for the week. Come on!" Louis stands and starts to make his way to the kitchen, but not before grabbing some sunglasses and his phone. Harry grabs his stuff and quickly follows. Harry can't help but think this entire night isn't real because of how nice and timid Louis is acting as well as them actually having fun and enjoying each other's company. He can't help but feel off, but he's actually enjoying it.

Louis grabs some nice Tupperware for him and Harry and fills both of them with the delicious food, Lucy was making when Harry walked in. Seasoned chicken with steamed and seasoned vegetables. He walks back and hands one to Harry before he grabs a few water bottles. 

"Thank you, Lucy! Have you talked to my parents at all?" Louis asks. 

"Yes. They said they'll be back later than expected. They need to stay another week." Lucy says this with a hint of sorrow in her voice. And looks at Louis with worried eyes. 

"Of course, they do." He puts his hand on the back of his neck in comfort, "Well, thank you anyways, Lucy." He goes over to hug her. "I'll be back late so enjoy your night."

"You enjoy yours, Lou." She hugs him back tightly. Once they separate, Louis gives her this loving smile. Harry's never seen this much affection between a housemaid and their boss. But, also he's never been in a situation where a housemaid is involved to begin with. Louis walks passed Harry and towards to door. 

"Thank you again!" Harry calls to Lucy. 

"Of course, sweetie." She responds. What a lovely woman. The boys head out towards Harry's car. But before they get there Harry decided to blurt out a question without thinking.

"So, what's up with your parents?" Harry asks. Louis' head turns very sharply at Harry and quickly says, 

"Nothing" in a sharp tone and gets in the car quickly to avoid the conversation continuing. Harry realizes he struck a chord with him, that Louis didn't like. Noted. He gets in to the driver's seat and instantly wants to change the conversation away from this awkward dark tension. 

"So, where is this spot you were talking about?" Louis seems to accept this question because his voice changes completely again to a higher happier tone.

"It's down the road and up the hill. SHIT! I forgot a blanket to sit on."

"It's okay! I have a few in the back for emergencies." Harry gives him his dorky smile again and Louis laughs. 

"What the fuck kind of emergencies do you go through?" 

"Very VALID ones!" They both break out into laughter almost in sync. 

"You're mental sometimes, Styles." 

"What happened to Harold?" They continue in their banter voices. The way you go back in forth but with full understanding that it's all fun and games.

"What? Am I limited to one name?"

"Yes." Harry says bluntly, but still with the banter tone. 

"That's not happening. You can't tell me what to do." Harry snickers at this to himself. And at this, Louis lets out a smile accompanied by blush red cheeks. 

"We're here." He announces as he puts the car in park. 

"I'll get the emergency blankets." Louis mocks and Harry rolls his eyes with a smile. He's having such a good time tonight. He never thought in a million years that this could happen, especially not with Louis. 

They grab all their essentials and begin their walk up to the top of this hill. It's not a very far walk as they could still see the car from the summit, but far enough to not have any lights in the way. 

"This place is GORGEOUS!" Harry exclaims. 

"It's my favorite spot." Harry smiles at him as Louis puts down the blankets. They both plop down and begin to eat. This food in Harry's mind is some of the best food he's ever tasted.

"Holy shit Lou. This shit is so good." Louis looks up at him with a light and calm face and gives him a smile. 

"Yeah, Lucy's the best." Harry doesn't answer, because the last time he pried he got met with hostility. So they continue their food in silence until it's all gone. But, strangely, this silence didn't feel awkward as most would. People never want to sit in silence because they think they aren't interesting enough to keep a conversation. But this, this feels good to Harry, almost amazing. 

He looks over at Louis, who is staring at the insane view they have of the city. His eyes glistening with the orange of the sunset. His hair perfectly messy, yet stylish, just like the night they met. And lastly his face. He looks so peaceful and happy. Harry never sees this side of him. Louis is always so talkative and loud, but here he is, so reserved. Which interests Harry more honestly. It makes him want to peel away at him to learn more about him. Why his family is a sore subject for him, why he can be a prick sometimes, how he met Zayn. So many thoughts are running through Harry's mind that are instantly interrupted by Louis as he begins to tell a story. 

"You know, growing up, my parents were never around. They were always off doing some work or attending high profile parties and I was always stuck at home. I remember the last time they attended one of my birthdays, I was 12. I had just heard about Queen and wanted to have a Freddie Mercury themed party, so they went all out. Got me a cake, outfits and everything. They were there for the beginning of it but then my dad got a call and they needed to leave. I don't know for what, they would never tell me. But since then, they stopped coming around as much. They blamed it on work, which it probably was. But after a while, it got tiring expecting them to be here for me, so Lucy stepped up. She pretty much is the one who raised me and I owe her my life, literally. So yeah. That's 'whats up' with my family. My parents don't give a shit about anything other than their work." 

Harry wasn't expecting such a big confession from him. He could tell Louis was thinking about something, but he really opened up to him.

"Wow, Lou. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that." Harry doesn't know what else to say.

"Don't. I don't need any pity, I just wanted to answer your question." He starts to become closed off again. Harry needs to say something to save this.

"Well I can't tell you I understand completely, but my father left when I was 10, and I've tried to reach out to him but he wan't nothing to do with me. he has a whole new family and pretends that me and my mum were never a part of his life. So, I can't say I understand your situation, but I can tell you, I know what it feels like to feel forgotten and like you don't matter, and no one should have to go through that." 

At this, Louis' demeanor changes to a more open and soft look as he looks up at Harry. They make brief eye contact, but it scares Harry so he lays down on the blanket and looks up at the sky as the light from the sunset begins to fade into the light of the stars. Louis follows suit, laying down the opposite way so that their heads are next to each other, yet they're bodies are opposite. 

"thank you for opening up with me. I know I'm not exactly your favorite person in the world, but I appreciate it."

"Who says that?"

"You did." He laughs. "Louis, I thought you hated me. I kind of still think you do, I honestly can't tell." Harry says this as a bit of a joke, but he means every word, but Louis catches on.

"I don't hate you, Harry." He says calmly, "I mean I did, but not anymore, you're actually sort of, dare I say it, tolerable."

"Oh wow, the worlds biggest compliment from Louis fucking Tomlinson." Harry fake gasps before he laughs out loud. Louis joins in but with a snicker. 

"But no seriously, you're not as bad as I thought you were." Louis turns his head to look at Harry, and Harry follows so that they're looking at each other, spider-man style. "But, If you ever tell anyone I said that to you, I'll deny it." Harry smiles. There's the Louis, Harry knows.

"It's not like anyone would've believed me if I did." Harry responds, "You're not as much of an arse as I thought you were, if we're being honest here." Both still looking at each other. Their eyes click after he says that. He doesn't know what this is, but this has happened a few times between them, and it's something almost inexplainable. It's this overwhelming feeling in his entire body full of chills, confusion, and complete understanding of Louis. Harry's heart is pounding out of his chest. He's only gotten this feeling with him. No one else. "But, if you tell anyone I told you that I'll deny it." Harry says with a mocking smile as he tears his gaze away from Louis to look back at the stars an as an attempt to calm himself down a tad. 

"It's not like they'd believe me." Louis responds in the same mocking tone. They both chuckle at the same time at their shared humor. After this they both lay there next to each other, gazing above at the stars. Admittedly, they've slowly gravitated towards each other so that their heads are at most an inch away from one another, and Harry feels a stirring in his stomach. But, he pushes them down, because, that's not happening right now. He can't feel like that, not right now, not with him. 

But, he's being so caring when it's just them two. He's being super funny, and he looks kind of cu-. No. He can't be thinking these things. Not with him. He pushes them down as they continue to lay there. But eventually, they both sit up becoming slightly tired and stiff from laying on the flat ground for an hour almost. 

"Do you want to get some ice cream?" Louis blurts out. 

"Fuck yeah!" Harry's excited because this means Louis wants to spend more time with him. Alone. They both begin to pack up their stuff and make their way down to Harry's car. Walking side by side, slightly brushing shoulders with every step. And that small of a touch is enough to send shivers down his spine. They pack the car and shuffle their way into the seats. Harry decides to put on Queen as they drive to the closest sweets shop. Both of them belting out Bohemian Rhapsody and Don't Stop Me Now. As they get their ice cream they both exchange small talk about where their from, fun stories from childhood, even debates about their favorite shows. 

"Monica and Chandler are superior than Ross and Rachel." Harry bellows. 

"No, they were too boring! Ross and Rachel had the flavor!" Louis debates back, and through it all, they both seem to be enjoying every second of time together. This continues all the way until they're back at Louis house. Harry helps Louis bring all of this stuff inside before they make their way back to his car for a goodbye. This seems a lot like a date to Harry, but it's not because they're just two friends doing homework. 

Who then watched the sunset and had dinner together.

Fuck.

"Well, I actually had fun today. Who know that Harold Styles could be a fun time." Harry laughs at Louis' names for him.

"Oh come on, you were dreading this. I know it. But same, you're not as obnoxious as you were before."

"Obnoxious?" Louis asks with a slight tint of annoyance in his tone.

"Well, yeah, I mean with how you spoke to me."

"i didn't speak to you any special way or any way you weren't already speaking to me."

"Well yeah, but." harry can feel that he's putting his foot in his mouth like before and he needs to stop. "Nevermind."

"No, I wanna hear what you have to say." Louis steps closer to him crossing his arms.

"Well," don't say it Harry," You were talking like you were better than everyone." Louis scoffs.

"It's true!"

"Oh fuck off, everything I say is always in banter." 

"Then why do you banter differently today than you have any time before?" Harry asks, slightly getting heated now. This makes Louis flustered.

"Well because you never knew me until today." Louis says.

"Do I even know you? You act so loud and obnoxious with the boys, but today are so timid and quiet. I don't know." Harry's confused.

"Obnoxious. You know what I think is obnoxious?" Louis begins to yell, "The fact that you think you're better than everyone!" here we go.

"Me??" 

"Yes you, Harry! You say shit like I get everything handed to me and then make rude comments and I'm sick of it!!" they're both almost nose to nose. 

"I apologized for that!! You know I did!!" They're full on yelling at each other now. 

"Yeah, well you're still a prick!" Louis yells, now out of arguments to keep his point going. They are now so close to each other they can feel the breath of their screams on each other's faces.

"Holy FUCK!" harry throws his head back in disbelief before bringing it back to be face to face to Louis, "I can't believe I actually thought you could be a friend or cool, but no you're just the same arrogant mother fucker that I've ever -" But all of a sudden. In the middle of Harry's frustrated yells something happens that he never expected. Louis grabbed his face mid yell and kissed him. His lips tasted like his strawberry lip balm and the touch of his hands on Harry's face sent chills all throughout his body, but nothing compared to the chills from the kiss itself. It's all consuming and Harry wants to fall deeper and deeper. 

But, Harry also was so taken back that he pushed himself back away from the kiss, and looks at Louis, dumbfounded. Eyes wide and worried. Louis looks back at him in shock of what he just did. 

"I-" Louis begins. Harry's eyes still wide and voice speechless.

"Thank you for the help." He says quickly before Harry could say anything, but like he could, he's standing there in absolute shock. Louis turns and borderline sprints into his house and closes the door without looking back at Harry. He just stands there, still in utter, complete shock. 

Louis Tomlinson just kissed Harry. 

After a moment of bringing himself back to reality, he makes his way into his car, silent. But before driving away he looks back at the house to see Louis though one of the windows. He has his head in his hands and looks completely embarrassed. Harry starts to feel bad, because to be honest he loved the kiss. It felt like fireworks were going off in his entire body.

Harry starts to make his way back home, but the entire time, he can't get that taste and feeling out of his head. It's all he can think of, even if he tries to change his mind. He begins to allow himself to think about Louis the way he was pushing down before. He always thought he was attractive, but his personality never seemed intriguing until today. And now it's all Harry want to know. He wants to know Louis. Deeper, understand him. But, he still can't believe Louis actually kissed him.

What. Just. Happened.


	7. Seven : Rewind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a short chapter, but
> 
> Harry can't stop thinking of Louis

"He WHAT?!?!" Niall screams once Harry tells him what happened. "He kissed you?!" All Harry can do is nod. He doesn't know what else to say, he's still trying to process the night during this discussion.

"What's going on?" Liam asks as he walks out into the common room with us.

"Louis kissed Harry." Niall says, so very bluntly.

"Wait WHAT?" Liam's eyes widen in shock, "I thought you hated each other."

"Well we did, until tonight I guess, we spent time together." Harry says with a bit of shame in his voice.

"He obviously doesn't hate you. What are you going to do? Do you have feelings for him?"

"Maybe? I don't know! I never thought about it until today." Harry looks down, "I mean I wouldn't be against it. But, I barely know him!"

"Harry it's been 2 months, you know a good amount."

"But not really. Not HIM the real him. I saw it tonight, but I've never seen it before. He's different." Harry is proper spooked now. He's so confused he doesn't know what's his feelings or what's just purely shock.

"Awee he's different." Liam mocks. Harry shoves his shoulder at this comment. 

"This isn't a joke Liam. What if this ruins the friend group??" Harry responds in a slightly higher tone. He sounds very stressed and freaked out.

"Trust me, you two hated each other to begin with and our group was just fine. You're avoiding, Harry." Niall starts. WTF does that mean?

"Avoiding? Avoiding what?"

"How you really feel about all of this. You're obviously still in shock and I'm sorry but we can't help much here. Either way, you both need to talk." Harry's eyes go wide. 

"TALK? NO!" Harry full on yells at them.

"Harry, come o-"Niall tries to plead.

"No, I can't. I just... can't" His voice grows weaker as the last word comes out. Harry walks to his room and the other boys understand there's no getting through to him right now. He needs to be alone, to think. And that's exactly what Harry is going to do. Think. It's already 10pm and he's exhausted. All of a sudden he receives a message. 

ZAYN

oh god.

*Hey man, sorry I was busy earlier.* 

Oh thank god. *it's ok I found something to do*

He really did. And for some reason his phone starts ringing.

"Hello?" Harry says confused as to why Zayn would be calling him.

"Hey, Harry! Erm." Zayn begins. Fuck. "Listen, I heard what happened tonight."

He knows. FUCK.

"I just wanted to let you know, Louis is my best friend in the whole world, we grew up together, but be careful." Harry wasn't expecting this at all tonight. At most he thought he would teach Louis some math awkwardly and go home to watch Game of Thrones.

"Careful? What do you mean?"

"Erm, well, he's not very good at relationships or dating. And I don't want you to get hurt." Yikes. Harry definitely is taken back. 

"Um, don't worry, I don't think anything is going to happen." even if he wants them to, but hearing this news put a pit in his stomach where the butterflies should be. "I'm just shocked."

"Yeah, I understand, but know if you ever need me or want to talk about anything, I'm here. And I promise to keep it between us." Harry really appreciates this, because he's definitely not used to being in this situation.

"Thank you, Zayn. I really appreciate it."

"Well, ANYWAYS, I'm having a party tomorrow night and all of your flat should come!" Harry is so grateful that he changed the subject.

"Ah we'll be there!"

"Great! And Harry."

"Yeah?"

"Please, please, remember what I said."

Harry is slightly sad by Zayn's declaration, but happy that he has someone looking out for him.

"I will. Thank you."

"Bye, Harry." Zayn says before he hangs up. 

"FUCK!" Harry yells. He's never like this. These feelings are all so foreign to him. 

"You good?" Niall calls from the common room.

"Yeah thanks!" Harry responds, even though internally he's not good. He's confused, shocked, happy, hurt, and did he mention confused? He never saw Louis in this way and now, it's all he can see, and it's clouding everything in his mind. He can't think straight, he needs to sleep. Maybe everything will be better in the morning.

But, why would you feel hurt when Zayn said that? If you didn't like him why would you feel that way? He thinks to himself.

Whatever. He decides to change into his pajamas and go to bed. As he closes his eyes he tried to force himself to think about movies, or tv shows, but his mind keeps drifting to one man. 

Louis. 

-

The following day, Harry spends it mostly alone. Thinking to himself, going on runs, yes multiple, and oh yeah! Still thinking about Louis. He can't stop. And he thought his head would be more clear today, but surprise, it wasn't. 

As he runs home he swings by that cafe he saw Louis at before. 

Beachwood Cafe. He never bothered to learn the name since it was so close, but it's got a nice ring to it. He goes inside to order some lunch for himself, as he is starving from all of his running. After he orders he sits down at one of the small tables and notices a guy sitting accross the room from him. He was to squint to make out his face and- 

He freezes almost instantly. It's Louis. This is the first time he's seen him since he kissed him and he doesn't know how this is going to go. But in that exact moment, he looks up and their eyes meet and instantly click. 

BOOM. 

Harry can almost feel Louis and his emotions just from this one look. He's scared and sad, but mostly scared. Harry doesn't know what to do so he gives him a smile. Louis looks back down at his hands as he fidgets his fingers. 

He stands up and begins to quickly walk out of the cafe, Harry is really confused and follows him outside. He catches up to him not far, and grabs his arm. he doesn't know why he's doing this, but he needs to almost. 

"Hey, how are you?" Harry starts. He doesn't want to come off too strong.

"Erm, fine I guess." the timid and nervous guy from last night immediately present again. 

"Look, I just wanted to apologize." Harry begins. Louis looks up at him genuinely confused.

"Why?" He asks as he furrows his brows in confusion.

"For the nasty things I said. I really don't think you're an arse." Harry repeats from last night, and Louis breaks out into a smile, but immediately pulls it back in.

"Erm, thanks. And I should say sorry too, I don't think you're a prick." He smiles while shoving his hands in his pockets. But all of a sudden his smile fades and he says, "I got to go." And turns on his heel to begin walking away. 

"I'll see you tonight?!" Harry yells at him as he speed walks away.

"Yeah!" And soon enough he's out of view. 

So what the fuck. Are they just not going to talk about it? Harry is even more confused now than ever. But, one thing he knows for certain. The sight of Louis gave him butterflies and instantly made his mood slightly brighter. But, people can feel that way with friends too! It's nothing special!

He walks back into the cafe and picks up his food that was waiting on the counter for him as he was chasing Louis. 

"Thank you." He says to the woman behind the table and walks back to his flat. 

He thinks they're on good terms now that they've cleared the air on the fight, but that kiss keeps replaying in Harry's head over, and over, and over. But the thing that breaks his thinking cycle is when he finally makes it to his flat and sits at the kitchen table to eat his slightly cold food. 

As he eats his food he already begins planning his outfit for tonight. He needs to look extra good tonight. his rationalization was because it was one of Zayn's big parties, but deep down he knew the real reason he wanted to look good tonight, and it's one man. 

Louis Tomlinson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm sorry this ones short but it's necessary build up to the next one! Thank you so much for reading


	8. Eight : False Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tension is thick between them

Harry looks through his closet to pick out his nicest outfit that makes him look and feel sexy. He wants to feel good tonight, even if things go south, at least he looks good while doing it.

He looks through and finds the perfect mesh see through top. It's a deep blue and has a hint of shimmer on it. In the lights, it'll look amazing, and for bottoms, he decided to choose these slightly tight, but loose enough to move in trousers that flatter his body, then to top it all off he adds Chelsea boots and a long necklace.

Harry looks at himself in the mirrors turning around, and posing. He really loves the way he looks tonight. He hopes a certain someone thinks so too.

Liam bursts into his room stressed about something and pacing back and forth.

"What're you doing, Li?" Harry asks confused.

"Niall, he's being difficult right now and you're the only other person who can help."

"What is it? Did something happen?" Harry's concerned now.

"We got into a disagreement about Louis and you, and then it escalated into him saying he can't be in a relationship, I think he's overthinking, but I don't know how to deal with it so I just left the room. What do I do?" Harry is confused but not surprised. Niall has always had commitment issues, that's why the fact he wanted to date Liam was so out of the ordinary.

"Liam." Harry begins, "I've known Niall a long time. He has never been one for commitment or relationships. he gets scared and pushes people away. You are the first person he's ever given a chance to. He truly does like you, but I think he could be overwhelmed right now. I definitely would recommend you try to talk to him and if he doesn't want to talk, just comfort him. Or, you can go to the party early and I can talk to him."

"Honestly, I don't think he's listening to me. I don't want to push him. Can you talk to him?" Liam is desperate. He's still new to Niall's idiosyncrasies and habits.

"Yeah, I'll talk to him. Just, try to have fun tonight, don't let this get you down." Harry gives him a slight smile.

"Thank you, Haz." That name's going around.

"Haz, I guess he's rubbing off on you."

"You could say that" Liam smirks and Harry immediately gags.

"UGH gross! Get out of here before I barf." Liam laughs at this sudden disgust and leaves the flat. Harry is ready for tonight, so he has time to talk to Niall before tonight. He knocks on the door before letting himself in.

Niall is just sitting on the edge of his bed, head in his hands, ready for tonight, but distraught.

"Hey, Ni." harry begins. He doesn't look up. "Liam talked to me a little and I wanted to check on you."

"Why? Why does he care?" Niall immediately blurts out at him, "He's too good for me!"

"Niall! Snap out of it! I know what you're doing." Harry grows frustrated, but Niall responds best with this kind of tough love, he's learned over the years.

"And what is that, Harry." He's fighting back. This is how it starts.

"You're pushing him away because of your commitment issues. But, Niall, I have never seen you this happy, EVER. And I've known you almost my whole life." Harry begins, He's about to preach to this Irish boy, "You need to accept that you deserve to be happy, the only person stopping that is your insecurity, you're not 'hard to love' or 'not good enough' because I love you, obviously in a platonic way, but you're my fucking brother, and Liam I think is in love with you." Niall looks up immediately with wide eyes, but says nothing. He looks down again and sits there silent for 30 seconds processing everything Harry just said before starting to speak again but in a quiet tone.

But, all Harry can hear is a mumble. "Um, what did you say?" He asks.

"I love him, Harry. I love Liam." He looks up at Harry again, but immediately catches something behind Harry. This makes him turn around to see what Niall is looking at, it's Liam.

"Erm, I forgot my coat." he says timid and Harry looks back at Niall, who looks mortified. his eyes are wide and hides his face. harry doesn't know what to say, he's speechless, because at this point everything makes sense. Niall finally accepted that he loves Liam and he was too scared to admit it. Liam's eyes are also wide, but soft with understanding, and love.

"I love you too Niall. Fuck, I love you so much." Liam almost screams. Niall looks up, with tears in his eyes. Harry walks back to allow them to have their own moment.

"I love you too, Liam." Niall stands up as Liam runs to him. They connect instantly with a passionate kiss and wrapping their arms around each other. Harry just stands there with a smile. He's never seen Niall this happy, but after a few seconds he feels as though he's intruding, so he slips out into the common room to give them privacy. He can't stop smiling because of this. Sometimes Harry wishes for a love like that, all consuming, passionate.

After a few minutes, they emerge from Niall's room, all smiles, and Harry stands, "Ready to party?"

"Fuck yeah!" Niall screams and they all cheer together. They begin their journey to Zayn's house early to set up and hang out with him, Harry's heart is almost beating out of his chest in anticipation of seeing a certain someone tonight, see his reaction, see his face, and also about what's going to happen. Will they talk about it? Will they talk at all? He's scared, but excited. Fuck, he's deep in it now. He doesn't think he can stop thinking about him no matter how hard he tries, which is weird to him as they've only spent time together once, but that kiss. That kiss was enough to stay in his mind forever.

They finally make it to Zayn's and at this time, its just them 3, Zayn, and the people he hired to set up all the essentials like food, music, and the bar. But, Louis is nowhere to be found. He can't lie, Harry is slightly disappointed, but he'll see him later, hopefully.

For the hour before the party starts they all begin to hang out and talk to each other, but carefully, none of them bring up Louis, for obvious reasons. But, before they knew it, people start showing up. Harry takes this as a queue to begin drinking. He immediately goes for a mixed vodka drink, he's feeling a bit risky tonight.

They all begin to have fun at the party. Liam and Niall dancing together and being cuddly and all over each other, Harry and Zayn talking every once in a while when Zayn isn't playing host and Harry isn't mingling and dancing on his own waiting. He feels slightly pathetic waiting for Louis, but he allows himself to, no matter how foolish he feels.

And almost on cue, this is when the man he was thinking about walks through the door. Harry smiles wide immediately when he sees him, like a dork, yes admittedly. But once the crowd of people move he notices something. He's with someone. A girl. Harry's smile fades quickly when he sees that his arm is wrapped around her shoulders, and she leans into him. What the fuck is this?

Well, he thinks to himself, she could just be a friend, or family, but surely he wouldn't-

And there she goes. They kiss. Right in front of him. Harry went from happy, to confused, to hurt, to angry in a matter of seconds because of one, Louis Tomlinson. He feels betrayed and hurt, but also completely stupid. Why did he allow himself to feed into this shit, especially when Zayn even warned him of Louis' ways.

"Fuck!" Harry screams. Even over the loud music, Louis heard. He looked over at Harry and they make eye contact again but only briefly because Louis immediately looked away to stay with that chick. He can't deny that she's beautiful, she has brown long silky hair, and is wearing this gold silky dress that fits her figure really well. This just makes Harry hate her more. She's absolutely gorgeous, and Harry feels completely stupid. He chugs the rest of his drink and heads over to the bar to grab another one. He's done trying, he's got to have fun for himself tonight.

And fuck it! He looks hot tonight, he can get whoever he wants, and that's exactly what he's going to do. He immediately finds this girl who's standing on the wall drinking her drink alone, but the kind of alone that's by choice. He finds this as the perfect opportunity to go up to her, but to be calm about it. He glances to the side and sees Louis and the mystery woman dancing on each other, touching, and obviously pretty drunk at this point. Louis looks at Harry, Harry notices, he always notices. But, instead of looking fondly at Louis, he instead gives him a glare of anger. Enough to warrant him to do his own thing. This hurts, but he's not going to let it affect his night.

"Hey." He says to the wallflower he spotted.

"Harry right?" She says. This surprises him.

"You know me?"

"Well, of course! You're friends with Zayn and Louis, everyone knows them." he just smiles at her, he doesn't know how to respond to that. They stand next to each other in silence for 10 seconds before she starts.

"So, did you come over here to talk to me or to stand here at awkwardly?" She asks.

"I mean," he looks down already defeated, "you want to know the truth? You seem like a no bullshit kind of gal." Harry's still feeding into Louis, because all he wants to do is talk about him, and talk about how angry and hurt he is.

"Of course. I'm Cassie by the way. I'm here to listen." She smiles and holds up her drink as a signal to cheers.

"Well. You know Louis, but we had a sort of moment recently, I'll say and tonight was the first time that things would progress and here he is, with a girl I've never seen, kissing and dancing with her. And....... I'm angry." She looks at him dumbfounded.

"Okay, first, fuck him for that. Second, that's actually my flatmate. Her name is Eleanor, she's known Louis for a while but only on and off. I'm sorry Harry. But, I may have an idea to get back at him if you're drunk enough." Harry likes Cassie, she's funny and really charismatic. She's this tall blonde with a bob like haircut wearing a burnt orange romper. Her eyes are light blue and remind him of - NO. He can't do that. And at that, he's motivated.

"What do you have in mind?" He smirks at her. He's drunk enough to be messy tonight.

"Come on." She says as she grabs his hand and drags him to the dance floor. She begins dancing with him and he joins in. They both move together and Harry is genuinely having fun. He doesn't have any feelings towards Cassie, he only feels happy. He's genuinely enjoying himself. He looks up and sees Eleanor and Louis, dancing next to them. Oh Cassie is good. Louis keeps looking at Harry dancing with Cassie and Harry notices his brows furrow in annoyance and anger, Harry looks back at him the same way. For ten minutes, they continue this cycle.

They try to one up each other over and over by kissing their partners, which Cassie was okay with, he made sure to ask, she was leading most of it, then dancing and eventually Louis got too angry and took him and his date off the dance floor. Harry feels accomplished at this. Him and Cassie laugh together, and he's slightly happy that he's made a new friend that was so ready to help him out. What a woman.

They leave the dance floor as well to go back to their wall. Laughing together.

"Thank you, Cassie, that was probably the most fun I've had in a while." She smiles.

"Honestly me too. I'm glad I could help." He smiles back at her. "Here, let me give you my number and if you ever want to hang out or need any more help or someone to talk to, I'm here. You're a fun time Harry." She takes out a pen and writes her number on his arm. Harry smiles.

"Thank you, that means a lot. I definitely will." She grabs his arm and squeezes it before walking away. Harry is so grateful for her, but he's still mad at Louis, but mostly because it still hurts, though he'll never admit it.

Harry looks up and sees Louis walk outside alone. This is his chance. This is his time to talk to him, alone. He brushes himself off and follows Louis outside.

He's standing alone, outside, almost the same as he was at the paranoia party when he ripped Harry a new one, but this time it's Harry's turn.

"What the fuck, Louis?!" He yells. He is definitely pissed drunk at this point, because he doesn't give a fuck what comes out of his mouth. Louis jumps and turns around to look at Harry. They're both alone, so no one else can eavesdrop on their conversation.

"What do you fucking mean?" He's meeting Harry's level of anger. The tension between them right now is thicker than it ever had before and they hated each other for a month straight.

"You fucking kiss me, and then bring some chick to snog in front of me like nothing happened!" Harry is just blatantly admitting that this bothered him and he immediately regrets it. He doesn't want Louis to know it affects him.

"Why the fuck do you care?! The kiss obviously didn't mean anything, I don't like you like that." But that last sentence sounded strange and off. His voice admitting that he's lying to his face.

"Oh don't give me that BULLSHIT! You can't just fuck with peoples feelings like that." Harry's MAD mad. This shuts Louis up. Harry thinks he realizes how much he fucked up. "You know what Louis? I can't believe I ever THOUGHT that this could be anything. That we could at LEAST be friends. But no, you don't give a shit about anyone but yourself." And at this Harry starts to cry in frustration. FUCK. He thinks to himself. He hates crying during arguments. He doesn't want to seem soft. But Louis doesn't take it as he's soft, he sees pain. And he understands.

"You're right." He looks down. Harry isn't used to Louis taking accountability for anything so this is new to him. "I shouldn't have led you on like that. I don't see you that way. I'm sorry if I gave you that impression." But Harry's hope of the accountability turning into hope of a relationship between them, is shattered by those words. 'I shouldn't have led you on' What can Harry say to that? He decided his best call of action is to try to leave the conversation. His world around him turning upside down as those words left his lips. 'I don't see you that way' his pit becomes deeper and wider with every word. 'I'm sorry if I gave you that impression'. His hope was shattered and he doesn't want to be in the same space as him anymore as it's beginning to make him sick.

"Well, you have fun with Eleanor. I'm going home." He doesn't bother to even answer his statement or feed into it anymore. He's done. He's so fucking done. He HATES Louis so much. He hates the way he flips from one way to another. He hates that he can be so sweet yet so condescending and rude.

But the biggest thing he hates is that he can't hate him. No matter what, he can't ACTUALLY hate him. All of this is coming from a place of hurt and he's not ready to accept that he maybe actually has feelings for the guy. Because doing that would mean, more pain, more desire, and more disappointment. He can't do that to himself. So, he comes to the false conclusion that he hates him.

He texts Niall that he's going home and leaves the party in an Uber alone. Harry was so excited for tonight and now he's leaving in tears. Tears he didn't think he would be spilling.

Once he gets home he changes and gets into bed with the room spinning slightly. His phone vibrates and he looks at it to see a message from LOUIS. He opens it because he can't help himself. And the only thing spelled out is:

*I'm sorry*

Harry rolls his puffy red eyes at this half assed shit and locks his phone. He doesn't owe Louis anything, so he's not going to respond. He lays in bed thinking of the night and how quickly his mood changed. He's sad that in a way he feels like his night was ruined, but Cassie and her help actually made it a lot lore memorable. He decided to text her just to say thank you again.

*hey it's Harry. I just wanted to text you so u have my number and to say thank you again.*

At this Harry throws his phone across the room in a drunken daze as he drifts off to sleep. It takes him under and he's calm, until he sees a familiar face.

Of course his dreams would be filled with none other than a certain someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this one. It was probably the fastest one I wrote, It might show too, so bear with me. But if you have any feedback I'd love to hear it even if it's criticism. (Just as long as it's respectful)  
> Thank you so much for reading this it means a lot to me


	9. Nine : Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys and girls go to a Halloween Party

Over the next month or so, this Eleanor chick never leaves Louis' side. Every get together with the boys, even if it's just them, and every party. Harry hasn't been able to talk to him one on one since their moment at the cafe. He's been trying to find ways to get him alone, but to no avail. They've been catching glances at each other though and Ben with Eleanor at his side, Louis still finds excuses to talk to Harry, ask him questions, or sit next to him. But, Eleanor is always there. She's like that annoying zit you can't pop.

She's really sweet, which makes Harry feel more guilty for hating her so much. But to counter Louis relationship, he's been inviting over Cassie to hang out with them and it makes it slightly better as she knows the real story. She also helps Harry whenever he needs info about Eleanor and Louis or advice from a friend. She's really been there for him and it's only been a month or so.

When Harry woke up the morning after the party, he felt extra shitty than any, all night benders before. But this hangover is also coupled by emotional pain as well as physical so everything was shit. And this is how he would feel almost every day since then. Every day he sees them together.

Every time he would see them together he would slightly gag. What the fuck? He thinks to himself. How and why did this happen? Louis kissed HIM, Harry shouldn't be the one in pain. But yet, he is. He doesn't want to admit it, but seeing him every day with Eleanor, gives him a pang in his chest. Enough to need to look away every time. He can't stand the sight of them.

Tonight is another one of their get togethers, but it's special, it's Halloween. One of Harry's favorite holidays. He has to dress to impress tonight, there is no exception and Cassie had the GREAT idea to do a 'couples' costume, even though they were strictly friends. They finally settled on being Greek gods. Harry wanted to wear a homemade toga with leaves and gold but show enough skin to draw some attention, and he made Cassie's Goddess costume exactly the way she wanted. One shoulder short enough to be cute but not too short that you can see her fanny.

They got ready together, so that she could do Harry's makeup, because that's one thing he can't do and he wanted to be perfectly golden for the night. He wanted to sparkle.

Once him and Cassie completely matched they go out to the common room to wait for Niall and Liam to emerge with their costume they were keeping a secret from them for WEEKS. They started eating some snacks to prepare for the night of drinking they were about to endure as they banter with each other and discuss anything and everything.

"So, he hasn't been over to see El for the last week or so." She pops a crisp in her mouth.

"Wait so what does that mean? They're on the outs?" Harry's drawn in now.

"Not necessarily, but I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't come tonight." Harry beams a fat smile from this. Louis ALONE and Harry NOT alone, oh how karma works wonders.

"Well tonight's going to be a great night!" She laughs and he joins so they laugh together. And at that moment an excited Niall and Liam barge into the common room. They look absolutely ridiculous and Harry is almost on the floor laughing. They've decided to dress as mermaid man and barnacle boy from sponge bob, and Harry is trying to contain every bit of laughter but is failing. Cassie can't help but begin to laugh as well in response to Harry's cackling.

"Hey we look good!!!" Niall wines.

"No! I'm sorry hahah it's a good costume! It's just a laugh Hahaah" Harry continues to chuckle softly as he still is trying to contain his laughter. Cassie comes over and locks her arm in with Harry's and says, "well shall we?" All the boys beam up at her and cheer in unison.

The four of them make their way to Zayn's house again as this is where the party is taking place. They walk inside and they immediately make their way to the bar. Now with Zayn, they all continue to laugh about Niall and Liams costume, Zayn's purge costume, and the party. All of us having a good time.

Cassie spots someone and leaves the group to talk to them, Harry turns to see it's Eleanor, but alone. Harry turns back to his boys and begins to talk, "you know, I've been trying to get Cassie to talk to some guys that aren't me, but she's too shy to." He takes a sip from his drink and Zayn slightly chokes on his drink.

"Wait you two aren't together???" He seems surprised. Had Harry not been clear enough with them? Maybe not because even if it makes him feel slightly guilty, he likes the idea that Louis thinks he's in a relationship, but he doesn't like to explicitly lie.

"No, just friends." He smiles at him, he's always had an idea that Zayn liked her in some way, but never thought twice about it.

"Wait, you're not kidding right? Like I can go for it if I wanted?"

"Well, yeah as long as you're respectful, you guys are already good friends now." Harry shrugs and smiles in support of this. He loves Cassie so much, but in a friend way, and he would love to see her happy even if it meant not necessarily being the only person she talks to other than her flat mates.

"Fuck okay, I think I will. But now I'm shitting my pants." He says as a joke but Harry knows he means it a little bit. And at this point Cassie AND Eleanor join the circle. Still no sign of Louis.

"Hey!" All the boys say in unison. Harry wants to make Zassie happen so he makes a move to stand in between the two girls. Meaning, next to Eleanor. He looks down at her awkwardly but gives her a smile so she doesn't feel out of place. He looks back at Cassie and she looks slightly confused but, Zayn finally starts talking to her. Harry tries to turn his attention to the other boys, but they've began to snog so it's just him and El. Fuck.

"Hey." He says with a shrug, and she looks mortified. He doesn't know what to do so he does the first thing that pops into his mind. "Are you okay?" He asks, and she almost immediately bursts into tears and runs away outside onto the balcony. Harry doesn't wanna leave her alone at this party, he doesn't know what could happen to her, so he follows her. He hates the girl but seeing her like this worries him. He wants to make sure she's okay. He steps out onto the balcony? But keeps the door slightly open so she feels comfortable.

"Hey, El?" He asks. She says nothing.

"You know, we don't talk much, but I wanted to make sure you're doing okay." He sounds almost weak but he doesn't want to come off too strong.

"It's because of YOU!" She screams at him, and then runs back into the party. Harry stands their in disbelief. What is because of him? Why is she so upset. She obviously doesn't like him, the only thing he can think to do is tell Cassie, because he knows El will feel comfortable with her. He goes back inside and tries to find Cassie, but to no avail. Fuck. He keeps looking around to find them and somehow ends up on their huge wrap around porch. He's on the side, but he can hear conversations of people in the front. He doesn't know who because they're around the corner, but one voice is so clear and familiar he starts to walk towards it to listen closer.

"Louis, why did you do this? I thought you loved me, at least a little!" It's Eleanor, she's screaming at Louis almost as loud as she screamed at Harry.

"I do love you!" He says back, but in a much less convincing manner.

"Oh give it a rest we both know you don't love me. You can't love me, not when you love someone else." She begins to sob as her words become broken. Harry wants to rip his ears away from the conversation but all he can do is move closer.

"Please El, don't do this I need you." He's begging her. Why? Why the FUCK does he need her if he doesn't love her. He isn't denying her claim.

"Yes, you need me. Because you can't keep up this ruse without me." What ruse? Harry is so connected to this conversation he can't stop listening.

"Please Eleanor I'll give you more money, you can even find someone on the side, but please stay. They still don't know. And you know what will happen if they find out." He's pleading with her, begging. More money? What's going on?

"You love him don't you?" She asks quietly. Harry's eyes widen. WHO? What?

"Who?"

"Fuck off, you know who." He lets out a defeated sigh.

"Yes. I do. Which is why I need you more." He begins to cry because Harry can hear his whimpering, but those 4 shots Harry took once he got there are starting to kick in, and the outside begins to spin.

"Okay, I'll help. You don't need to buy me out either. Even though this isn't technically real, it doesn't mean I don't care about you." Harry can't see what's going on but his drunk self is picturing her hugging him.

"Thank you, thank you. I owe you so much." He cries into her shoulder. Harry starts to feel weird staying there so he begins to make his way back to the door but the wood under his feet creeks really loudly. Fuck!

Louis and Eleanor make their way around the corner to see Harry. He was next to the door thank god so he pretends as if he had just walked outside. Good thing he's drunk because he wouldn't have been able to pull this off sober. It covers up his emotions.

"Hey lads! I think we're about to play rage cage, if you want to join!" He says in a jittery and 'I definitely didn't just listen to your entire conversation' way. They don't seem to notice, because they respond in almost the same manner.

"Maybe in a little bit! But thank you!" Eleanor says. Harry nods and almost runs inside. The room continues to spin as that 4th shot of whiskey kicks in. He tries to comprehend the entirety of that conversation. Who is Louis in love with? It can't be Harry, it just can't be. Why is he so scared of people knowing? Who is he scared of? Harry's mind is racing a mile a minute and he needs to find a distraction. He finds Niall and Liam and makes his way over to them.

"Hey lads?!" He says sounding like a question.

"You okay Haz?"

"Yeah! Peachy!" He doesn't know how to act cool when he's drunk he almost turns into a blabbering idiot.

"Well, look over there, you just created one of this uni's hottest couples." He turns and sees Zayn and Cassie in the corner proper snogging. He keeps his hands either on her cheeks or her waist, and her arms are around his neck and head. They look like their enjoying themselves. Harry is happy for them but slightly jealous because now all of his friends are in a relationship except for him. I mean one isn't real, he just found out, but after hearing how hurt and in pain Louis is he needs to keep up the ruse, even though he knows, even though it hurts, he has to keep him safe. He doesn't know why this is his first instinct, but he needs to keep Louis safe at all costs.

Which means. Harry's the 7th wheel.

In a way him hearing that conversation hurt him in ways he didn't expect. It pained him to hear Louis be so distraught, all he wanted to do was hug him and take the pain away. Fuck is that the alcohol talking?

But, the pain he held before, the anger he had towards him and El has disappeared and turned into a need to protect them. Even if it hurts still to see him with her, he has to keep them safe.

So for the rest of the night, after coming to this realization. He decided to dance. Even if it's alone, in the middle of the dance floor, like an idiot, he enjoys it. He jumps around and screams along to the music. The other friends catch him doing so. Niall and Liam jump in almost right after and begin to dance crazy. Cassie and Zayn next, and lastly, Louis and Eleanor. They all dance the night away smiling having fun. Harry notices Louis slowly move his way towards him slightly, but he's so drunk he could be imagining it.

He looks over and locks eyes with the blue eyed boy who was crying just moments ago. Harry in a drunken daze gives him the biggest smile he could and Louis' face brightens as he smiles back at Harry. Changing his demeanor from sad and lonely to happy and abundant. Harry feels as if this is the most perfect moment he's experienced in months being here. Being with all of his friends and right next to Louis, a happy Louis. Harry is proper happy and they all continue to dance and scream sing the songs for the rest of the night to each other. Bliss.

This is bliss. Harry thinks to himself. Happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so fun to writeee I hope you like it.


	10. Ten : The Split

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis needs Harry

After overhearing Louis and Eleanor's conversation he hasn't been able to stop thinking about that night over the next few weeks. Over analyzing and deducting theories from everything that happened. Why were they so scared? Did Harry even fully understand everything as he was definitely plastered drunk. He doesn't now but he really fucking wants to find out. It was super sketchy how they were talking.

But, the one thing Harry for sure heard was "You love him don't you?" and "Yes I do." WHO?

Harry doesn't want to be daft and immediately think it's him because, what if it's Zayn, or Niall, or even Liam.

But Louis kissed HARRY. He shakes the thoughts out of his head because he can't allow himself to be sucked into that hole again.

It's now a few weeks after the party, Eleanor and Louis are still 'going strong', but what the biggest development is Zayn and Cassie. They've been hanging out almost non-stop since Halloween. Which Harry thinks is great, but now he has no one to give him advice. Not like he could ask for it anyways, because he made a promise to himself to keep the fake relationship info to himself. They obviously are doing it for a strong enough reason for that fight to have gotten so heated. So he keeps his mouth shut and suffers in silence with this information he can't tell ANYONE. Especially not Louis.

But at that moment he gets a call. He's utterly confused when he checks the caller ID and it's........

Eleanor.

What the fuck? Is Louis okay? Is she okay? Is someone hurt? These are the first few questions that swirl in his head as he contemplates answering. He has to.

"Hello?" He sounds blank. Doesn't know what to think right now.

"HARRY? Hey it's El, can you um... can you come to Louis' house?"

"Uhm sure. Is everything okay? Is something wrong"

"Yes... I mean no. I mean. Please just get here."

She hangs up the phone. What the fuck? Why does he need HIM. What can Harry possibly contribute to this man?

Nonetheless, he makes his way over to his mansion. He doesn't know what to expect. He's been trying so hard to block out all these confusing thoughts and theories in his head but this just adds on to all of them and heightens the tensions even more.

Louis had to have noticed the tension shift between him and Harry. It's not a hatred tension like before but a scared tension. Worried.

He pulls up to the drive way and parks the car. He looks up at the house glistening in the sunlight. He hadn't seen this house like this since that day with him. Which he is definitely NOT going to think about.... the dinner they had watching the sunset. No he's NOT going to think about how he opened up to him about his family as they gazed up at the stars. NO STOP.

Wait. His parents. He opened up about his parents being gone and Lucy pretty much acting as his mother but that's all I know. Do I even know him? Harry doesn't know what to think of Louis at this point. He's such an ambiguous person everything he says is contradictory and confusing.

Eleanor walks out of the front door alone, and Harry gets out of his car to make his way towards her.

"Hi Harry." She says calmly but Harry can't help but head a hint of panic in her voice. "He's in his room. Something's happened, he's not listening to me, but I thought maybe he would listen to you." She says bluntly.

"To me? What could I have to say that has any importance?" She doesn't answer, seemingly on purpose, so Harry follows up, "Os Lucy here?" He asks and she turns back almost in surprise that he knows who that is.

"Erm.... no today's her day off." She continues to walk to his room and Harry's heart is beating out of his chest. He has no clue what to expect or what is it that's about to happen. But he also doesn't care, because in his mind something is wrong with Louis and he wants to help.

The door creeks open to reveal a slouched over Louis on his bed. Crying? Harry doesn't think he's ever seen him cry. Like proper cry. Maybe after laughing at a joke, but this is a foreign scene to him.

Louis looks up and notices a y'all towering Harry in his door way.

"What are you doing here?" He asks almost angry but with some fear undertones.

"El called me." He looks over at her with almost a death glare. Harry stands there in an awkward trance trying to understand the situation. Louis stands up and tries to dust himself off a bit.

"You didn't need to, I-"

"What's wrong" Harry interrupts. He knows somethings off. He can just tell.

They lock eyes. And it happens again. The click. The understanding. The hurt. The fear. Harry can see it all swimming around in his blue eyes.

Louis seemingly gets the same feeling after that because all of a sudden they walk over to each other for a hug. A real live hug. Harry is confused as to why he felt the need to do this but he knows he needed to. Louis needed him. And no matter how shitty of a human he was being to Harry, he needed a friend right now. He starts to weep into Harry's shoulder. Harry's heart drops in pain from seeing him  
So distraught. He squeezes him in tighter.

It feels so right. Like they fit together perfectly in each other's arms. After a few seconds of comfort hugging Louis let's go and stands in front of Harry.

"I'm sorry." He says again. He's been saying it to Harry almost once a week now since he told him "he doesn't have feelings for him.", and that Harry was essentially a dumbass.

"My...my....my parents. They're splitting up." He walks slowly back over to his bed and slouches down again. Harry follows him this time and sits next to him as he wraps one arm around his shoulder I'm a comforting motion. Jeri f him this sad makes Harry sad. He can feel his pain radiating through him.

"You know they never really raised me, and I shouldn't care as much as I do, but I fucking do." He puts his face in his hands. And at this Eleanor leaves the room. Harry didn't notice until he heard the door click. Now it's just them two.

Even with red eyes, he's still beautiful. STOP. Harry can't stop thinking these thoughts whenever he's around Louis. It's kind of annoying to him but also blissful to live in a fantasy.

"It's okay, Lou. You're allowed to feel hurt and the way you do." He turns his body so that his face is touching Harry's chest as his hands are still covering his face. He's so sad.

"I just never thought this would happen. I know this may sound fucked up, but I thought even if they hated each other they'd stay for the sake of their work. They only care about the power. I don't mean SHIT, this family doesn't mean shit. And if and when this goes through, I may have to leave uni." He looks down again in despair.

No. He can't leave. He needs him. He needs him here. So the next thing that comes out of his mouth comes from that place of fear of losing him.

"You can stay at our flat if you need! I must say it isn't this," he points around to signal that he's speaking about his mansion., "but you're ALWAYS welcome." Louis looks up again to look at Harry one more time.

"Really? Why?" He looks confused as to why Harry would EVER offer this.

"Well." He needs to figure out a way to say this that doesn't come off in a strange way, "you're one of our mates, if you need us, we'll always be here for you."

He guesses that's a good response because he doesn't know what else he would've said. Well he does but he shakes that thought out of his head again. He can also tell Louis isn't used to this. He isn't used to having friends who actually care.

"I can't possibly ask you to do that, I-"

"You're not asking, I'm offering. It's okay to accept help, we love you Lou." And he freezes at that. He knows he said "we" but to him he felt as if he was saying it in another manner.

Louis sits up fully again, but looks down at his fingers as he fidgets.

"Thank you, Harry. Really." Harry just nods because he doesn't know what else to say. He feels as though he needs to leave, as he feels he's overstaying his welcome. He wasn't even supposed to be here in the first place.

"So do you think you're okay? Cus I have-" he begins, but he feels a tug on his hand as he stands up to walk towards the door.

"Stay please." Louis whimpers almost. He begs. Harry is dumbfounded because, this is a whole different side of Louis he hasn't seen. Vulnerable. Louis has been many things around Harry but never, vulnerable. Harry begins to nod as he says, "okay, I'll stay" in the most comforting way he can think of. Harry sits back down next to him and wraps his arm around Harry again. Louis snuggles into him in the most adorable and sad way. He continues to cry again. Harry decides to give in and completely hold him in his arms.

As much as Louis doesn't want him to leave, he doesn't want to either. He wants to soak up as much time as he can with him, even if it's just as a friend. A friend. Does he want to be a friend?

At this moment, Harry finally thinks. He THINKS about it all. About Louis, and Harry and how he feels. How it feels to hold him in his arms. How it feels to be this close, to comfort him, just to be with him. It's in this moment where Harry realizes, accepts, and knows. He loves him. He loves Louis. Harry is in love with Louis. Once he thinks this, his heart starts to race more.

He's in his arms. He's letting him hold him. He would rather talk to Harry than El. At this thought he pulls him in tighter. After around 5 minutes of staying in this position, Louis let's himself up again. Tears gone, as he stopped crying a bit before, but stayed in that comforting position.

He moves up and they look at each other. Harry's heart banging almost out of his chest as they lock eyes again. But this time it isn't an instant click but confusing. Louis is unreadable, but he can sense some fear. He continues to stare into Louis' unreadable eyes until they move down to gaze upon Harry's lips. He notices this small change before he brings his gaze back up to Harry's eyes. This is where Harry decides to throw everything out the window.

He leans forward and meets Louis' lips with his. It shoots electricity through his body as the entire world around him falls away as he's fully engulfed with the feeling of Louis' lips on his. He tried to lean in further but is slightly pushed back by Louis' hands. Louis looks utterly surprised and says nothing as he just looks back at Harry in shock. But before Harry could start apologizing and crawling into a whole, Louis grabs Harry's face and pulls him in again. Harry's fear disintegrates as he places his hands on Louis' face and hair. They push into each other as they deepen their kiss, and begin to lay down on the bed. Their lips moving in tune with one another. Harry could taste that strawberry lip balm again as they continue to move together. But all of a sudden there waS a knock at the door. Fuck it's Eleanor.

They separate right when they hear the knock and sit up on the bed again still in shock from their very explosive snogging session. FUCK. Harry thinks to himself. He's obviously with El for a reason and he doesn't want to fuck anything up. She walks in as they moved their bodies another foot away from each other to show distance.

"Oh uh, hey babe." Louis says almost out of breathe. Harry can't hold in a slight smirk, but he feels not does this because he knows Eleanor isn't really his girlfriend.

"Is everything okay in here? Are you okay?" She asks him to period but also careful. Very calculating.

"Um yeah, I'm okay now. Thank you El." He reaches out to give her a hug but it just seems very fake, but Harry isn't supposed to know it's any different than normal so he decides he needs to leave. He stands up as they continue to hug and says, "Well I think I should go. If you need anything Louis, just text me." And almost immediately runs out of the room and down the hall. He's freaking out. What just happened. Why did he do that. But, why did he kiss back? Why why why???

As he's almost at the door he feels a hand on his arm. He turns to see a worried Louis. Harry looks at him confused.

"Erm. Can we keep what we did to just us?" He seems really fucking terrified as he speaks. Harry doesn't know what to do or say other than, "sure yeah." He turns around again but doesn't move. Should he just come  
Clean about what he heard it's only them, Eleanor is still in the other room.

"Lou?" He turns back around to look at him as he was still standing behind him. "I know"

"Know what?" Louis looks completely terrified now.

"I know you're not really with her" he lowers his voice to a tone only Louis could hear even though they're the only ones in the room. Louis eyes widen to a huge size. He grabs Harry's arm and drags him outside to his car.

"What do you mean you know?" He says in a slightly angry but mostly scared tone.

"I overheard your and El's conversation at the Halloween party. Don't worry I haven't told anyone. I just wanted to let you know." He says the other parts to calm him down which it did because his shoulders immediately loosen.

"Please please don't tell anyone. Please. This could ruin my life. Please." He's begging him. He's not used to this vulnerable Louis. Not at all.

"Of course I don't want to do anything to hurt you or ruin your life. I-" he stops himself he can't say anything else. He thinks it'll be too much. But Louis steps closer to him.

"You what?" He eggs on. He's getting cheeky now. Harry doesn't know what to say he wants to tell him but he's scared to he doesn't know what to do, but his heart gets the best of him and he blurts it out.

"I... I like you okay? I don't want to hurt you." He looks down almost ashamed at this newly aired out information. Fuck what if he ISN'T the one Louis likes. Louis steps closer to him and lifts Harry's chin to look at him.

"You like me?" He smirks, almost all the fear slipped away, as if he just trusted him automatically. Harry doesn't say anything he just looks down into his eyes. And he sees Louis moving towards him more, he thinks he's going to kiss him again but instead moved his lips to Harry's ear.

"I like you too." He says it in such a raspy tone it almost makes Harry weak in the knees. He moves back to look at him, but now with a sad expression.

"But, nothing can happen." He looks back up at Harry who's excited expression turns into sadness. "I wish it could. I want it, but we can't. We just can't." He looks down and turns away to start walking away.

"But why? I want it too!" Harry tries to walk to Louis again, but he puts a hand up to stop him.

"We just can't, Harry. Tonight never happened. Thank you for helping me, but we have to forget about this and move on." Harry can't feel his heart breaking again like it did before but this one cuts deeper. It's REAL.

"But, I CAN'T move on Louis. That was probably the best kiss of my entire life!" He's almost screaming. Louis looks so sad and ashamed that he has to do this. Harry knows it's for a reason but to not know that reason bugs him.

"Me too." He says softly before turning around completely and walking off before Harry could keep pleading. Fuck. 

"Louis!" Harry calls after him, but he doesn't turn around and makes his way inside his house. "FUCK!" Harry yells and kicks his car so hard it ends up hurting his foot rather than the car. He begins to cry. He can't stop the tears from falling down as he just skinks down onto the concrete, now at night, crying, in front of Louis' mansion. Right when he thinks things can finally get better, they get even worse. Because, before he could avoid his feelings and pretend like it wasn't real. But, now that he knows his feelings are real, it hurts even more. His heart is completely shattered and he stays on the cold ground weeping into his knees. He doesn't even care that it's freezing and he looks pathetic, he feels too hopeless. 

He sits there for almost ten minutes until he's numb. Tears gone, and he's empty. He stands up to get in the car and drive home. He doesn't even put on any music as he drives back to his flat because the noise of it all would already be too much. 

Once he gets home, he opens the door to find a cuddly Niall and Liam on the couch watching the tele. They look up to see him, but he completely ignores them and walks to his room, shutting the door behind him. Niall and Liam think this is weird because he always at least says hi when he comes home. 

Harry hears a knock and a small, "Harry?" Come from Niall. He just wants to be left alone, but he can't be rude, so he yells, "come in." He's already laying on his bed, trousers and shoes off. Slumped and looking into dead space. 

"Hey, Haz? Are you okay?" Harry has no energy to answer this, so he just shakes his head. All he wants to do is sleep and deal with it tomorrow. Yes it may be 7 pm right now, but he just can't keep thinking about this, it's eating him up inside.

"What happened? Where did you go?" Oh Niall's still in the room, Harry almost forgot. 

"Louis" Is all he can muster out before shoving his face in his pillow. Maybe things can change. If he moves in. Fuck, he forgot about that. What if he moves in?? His stress levels are rising once again. 

"I understand, do you want some space?" Harry nods and Niall, looking sad and worried, leaves him alone. Harry really does love and appreciate Niall, but right now he just wants to be left alone. He decides to dig an even deeper hole in his chest as he opens his phone to text Louis. He needs to do this, even if it will hurt, or be the worst thing for Harry, Louis needs help, and no matter what's going on between them, no one deserves what he's going through. 

*Hey, just wanted to let you know my offer still stands, if you need a place to stay. No matter what, if you need me I'll be there.* He sends this before he can talk himself out of it. He might be making a huge mistake, but he needs help, and Harry loves him.

Fuck. Why did this have to happen? He gets a buzz from his phone as he opens to read, LOUIS.

*thank you* So plain. So emotionless. So empty. I guess this is what they mean about love hurting. He wants him, needs him almost. But, he can't have him. Thinking about this is almost too much to bear so he decides to go to the kitchen to grab some food and a few beers to bring back into his room as he opens his computer to watch a movie until he falls asleep. He needs a distraction from Louis, something different. He finally decides on a Marvel movie and eventually drifts off to sleep after drinking his second beer. Goodnight he thinks, Goodnight Louis. But then his subconscious says something so loud and clear before he falls asleep.

Goodbye Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was so cute and heartbreaking at the same time to write. I hope you're enjoying this. I promise things don't stay shitty forever. Just hang in there.


	11. Eleven : Mr.Styles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry sees his dad

The next few days after Harry and Louis' discussion, were completely silent from him. All the boys would hang out together but Harry would make excuses to not go, or to avoid him at all costs. He doesn't think he can face him. Not yet. But it's starting to become noticeable that he's ignoring them because Niall bursts into his room and says, "Okay mate. You can't avoid him forever." Fuck.

But he really doesn't want to. Not yet. He's happy ignoring the situation until further notice. "Not yet." He tells Niall, "I just can't yet."

"Look you haven't told us what happened, so we can't really help you, but what we can say is that we know it's bad. Just remember that we're here for you Haz." Harry smiles at this gesture.

"Thank you Ni, genuinely." Niall smiles back at him.

"But I also don't know how much longer I can cover for you, so try to figure something out soon." Harry slightly groans, "Ugh okay." and Niall shuts the door. It's noon and Harry is still in bed. He's been extra lazy since all or most of his excuses have been lies just to avoid Louis. But, today is going to be different. He's going out to actually do something to be productive. Get his mind off of the constant lingering pain in the back of his mind for his desire to be with Louis. Hugging him. Kissing him. Just being with him. Stop.

He figures he's going to go on a drive into the nearest city, which so happens to be London and sight see. He wants to be a tourist today even if he's been here many times. It gives him something to do. And it's an hour away so it's a good distance to get alone time. He gets ready and packs a bag so that he can enjoy his day, alone, but fun. But, it would definitely be more fun if a certain someone was coming with. 

-

Harry's been in the city for a few hours now and has already hit a lot of the main spots. Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, etc. Living here, he always takes these places for granted, because they're always flooded with tourists and he didn't really care for them all that much. But today, as he travels alone, he takes more time to appreciate the structures, the intricate designs, and even the people walking around. This day has been good so far and he's loving it. He hasn't even thought about Louis once. 

Okay that's a lie. He's thought about him almost at every landmark he sees. He just wants to explore it with him, wants to be with him. He shakes these thought out of his head once he realizes how incredibly pathetic he's sounding as well as how hungry he is. He decides to make his way down to the local food shop to grab a bite to eat. 

Harry knows this entire day trip may seem out of the ordinary, but, he actually takes trips like this often. Doesn't tell anyone, just goes and explores new and old places. It clears his mind when it's full of nonsense, or in this case, a person. But, this one is turning out to be enjoyable. 

As he walking into this food shop called Malcolm's. He wanted to find something quick and easy so he can get on his way to drive towards a beach. As he's looking through the pre-made meal area, he almost bumps into this older man. Seems about in his 50's. Tall, like him. Dark hair and green eyes, like him. Thin towering figure, like him. He steps back to give him a better look, because this is strange. How familiar he looks. 

He sees a small hand reach around him to grab this older man's hand. He's a young boy, who also looks very similar to the man, but a smaller version. Maybe around 8 years old. Along with 2 other young children looking close to 4 years, twins. Harry remembers his father's new family involved twins. His father. He looks back up at the man, who'c eyes are open and wide staring at him. It's him.

It's Harry's father, and his children, but where's- And as he begins this thought he sees a young, fit, beautiful woman around her late twenties, his new wife. 

"Father?" Harry says to the man, scared, yet with a tinge of anger. He doesn't know what ti say, or what to think. He hasn't seen his father since he left him at age ten. The only things he learned of him and his new family is from facebook and social media, where they post proudly of their happy complete family, yet that leaves out Harry and his mum and sister. Edward Styles. Harry still holds resentment at the fact that he lives with his father's name as his middle. He'd rather have nothing to do with him, but alas he's standing in front of him in this moment, in the middle of London. 

"Harry. My god, have you grown!" Huh? He's acting like he's some long lost relative. 

"Erm, yeah since 10 years ago when you left." He's angry, livid. He wants his father to know exactly how much he's hurt him, but also at the same time he wants to show him how successful he is without him. He goes silent at Harry's words. He knows he's right. 

"Daddy?" The one holding his hand says, "who is he?" Harry looks down at the boy and up to the man he once called Dad. 

"This is, Erm, this is Harry. He's your brother." He says simply, defeated. He never told them about him? He completely wrote him out. Did his wife even know about him? She doesn't even look 7 years older than him. 

"We have a brother?!?" The little boy says and the twins start clapping in response to his excitement. This breaks Harry's heart to see. Family he could've had. Family who seems so excited to have him, yet the one they all call father separates them. Ed doesn't say anything, Harry thinks he's too ashamed to. But before he could come up with a bullshit excuse the little boy runs up to Harry and holds out his hand.

"Hi Harry! I'm Jonah!" He says in a very excited tone. Harry can be mean to his father all he wants but these kids are harmless, they had no clue. It breaks his heart even more to see them so confused like he is some random man they just saw randomly on an Autumn's day. He reaches out his hand to take Jonah's in a shake. 

"Hi Jonah, I'm Harry." He says with a smile on his face. "And who are your other friends?" he points to the twins. Girls. 

"Oh those are my sisters! Julia and Jenny! They're real little." He points at them with a big smile. "I never know I had a brother! You look really cool!"

"Why thank you! I think you're cool too!" he playfully shoves his shoulder. 

"Will we see you again???" Jonah says in a tiny voice. 

"Oh no, honey, at least not any time soon." The mother who's name Harry learned was Tammy from facebook, says as she walks over to take him away. She gives Harry a look of disgust and disappointment as if all of this was his fault. Harry returns the favor as she isn't on the list of "Styles' family members who didn't know any better". Fuck her.

"But why?! He's family!!" Jonah whines. He's right, Harry is family, technically. They're blood, but Ed would rather have his 'new and improved' family have nothing to do with Harry.

"It's a one time thing. Now let's go." Tammy says and tugs Jonah and the twins away. 

"Bye Harry" Jonah says as he waves at Harry goodbye. Sad. He looks so sad. But, before Harry could return the goodbye, Tammy pulls them away down the lane. Leaving just Harry with Ed. 

"So, how have you been?" His father begins and stepping towards him.

"Don't" Harry says stepping back away from him, " Don't act like you care, be both know you couldn't give two shits about me or my mum, or your daughter. No, instead you'd rather give up and start fresh, like we never existed. Fuck you!" Harry had been rehearsing these words for yers. What he would say to his father if he ever were to meet him again. Today's the day to let it all out. "Do you even think about us? Do you ever wonder how we are? Do you ever get over your big ego to even think about us?" Harry's father falls completely silent. Harry takes this as an answer. "I thought so." He finishes and stands up straight to look at him with such disappointment. 

He doesn't want to hear another word come out of this man's mouth. His insides are already aching at the fact that his other small children were sad as well to leave Harry. It hurts how forceful Tammy was to get them away from him as if Harry was this rabid criminal. He's angry, he's hurt, sad, heartbroken. He can't stay around here any longer and witness this shit show. "If you wanted to talk to me you would. So I'll leave you with this. Contact me when you're ready to be a father, but from where I'm standing, you're no where close to being a real one. So have a nice life for now, but I'm not going to wait around for you any longer. Good day." Harry almost dusts himself off as he turns on his heel and begins to walk out of the shop, deciding to go to one down the street for his meal. 

His father says nothing as Harry walks out, which he predicted, but as we walks out he sees his 3 younger siblings. Jonah looks up along with the twins and they wave at him, with sadness in their eyes, but Jonah worst of all. When Tammy sees this she slaps their hands down as to say stop. The sight of this angers Harry, but what can he do? He waves back at the children, because Tammy can't stop him from waving. Their frowns from Tammy's disrespect turn into wide smiles. 

As he walks outside he thinks to himself. He's proud that he had the opportunity to stand up to him, and mind you, not stuttering once. But he's also so very sad and hurt by how they were treating their children and Harry. Polar opposites. Tammy was a raging bitch, Ed was a fake arse, and the kids were innocent and giddy. Seeing these wonderful children be raised by such rude and cowardly people hurts him. He doesn't know who to call, because right now he feels as if he's about to cry. He knows he wants to talk to someone, but it can't be his mum, at least not now. He needs time, Gemma is very busy and she's so much older that her feelings towards Ed are vastly different than his. Niall is out today with Liam, that's why he came to London. The only one he wants to call is Louis. He could call Zayn, but he's spending ever waking moment with Cassie and he doesn't want to interrupt them especially because they're so happy. So he shoots himself in the foot and catches himself dialing Louis. 

It rings a few times. Enough to where he knows Louis contemplated picking up.

"Hello?" He hears Lou say worryingly. 

"Lou?" Just the fact that Harry is calling him and with all the overwhelming feelings coming from him after that encounter, and from his last talk with Louis, he breaks down. In the middle of a random street in London. He looks around at the crowded streets and finds a small ally he can slip in to to talk and cry on the phone with him. 

"Harry? What's wrong" He can already hear the broken breaths through the phone. Harry continues to cry harder after he asks what's wrong. 

"It's It's It's..." Harry can't seem to get the words out. The right ones anyways, all he can think to say is, "I need you." He can't think about anything other than how overwhelmed he is as his breathing begins to stiffen more and more until he feels as though his windpipe is closing in on itself. He starts to dry heave on the ground. 

"Harry, babe, listen to me." Harry can't even gloat at the fact that he just called him 'babe' because his entire being in this moment is only focused on the feeling that he is in the process of dying. He manages to drop his phone and turn on speaker so he can curl up. 

"Harry, I'm here. I'm here. You can come to my house, I won't turn you away, but right now, you need to focus on me. Focus on my voice and truly listen to what I'm saying and answer me." He pauses, Harry takes this time to croak out a small, "ok" 

"Name me 5 things you can see." Harry opens his eyes and looks around fighting his troubled breathing to look at 5 things and tell him. 

"I see rubbish everywhere, I see cars, people walking, birds, and, and" Harry breaks down again as Ed pops back int his mind, "My father, Lou, I saw my dad." He sobs into the speaker. 

"Oh Harry. Where are you?" He's speaking so somber, so understanding, even though just the other day he was acting as if he didn't exist.

"I'm in London. Downtown." He's so angry that this was the way his fun day in the city went. 

"Well, harry you're in luck because I'm here too." Harry after hearing this calms down a lot. Strangely just by him saying he's close, brings Harry so much comfort. 

"Wait... what?" His speech is still broken with shaky breaths. 

"I'm here on family business, with my parents. Tell me where exactly you are and I'll be right there." Harry, though now a lot more calm, is still overwhelmed by all that's going on, but thinking about being held by Louis takes all of it away. 

"I'm next to the food shop Malcolm's" He's surprised that Louis would drop everything to be with him.

"Okay, I'm coming." He says .

"But, why? If you have more important things I-"

"You are important Harry. Family can wait." This puts even more comfort in his rapidly beating heart. "I'll be there in 15 most." and he hangs up the phone. Harry's nice trousers for his tourist days are now proper ruined by the wed dirty ground in this ally way in which he's crouched over on. He moves so that he's sitting up against the brick wall on one side of the ally. He can't muster up the strength to move. He's just so shaky, overwhelmed, and terrified. He honestly felt as though he was going to die. 

He sits there waiting for Louis. Waiting. And crying, when all of a sudden a small black car rolls up in the entry of the ally way. 

He's here. 

Louis barges out of the backseat. Of course he isn't the one driving, he doesn't need to be. But, he runs up to Harry, who is still crouching down by the way. "Harry!" He sounds frantic, scared, and worried. 

"Oh my god, Harry are you alright?" Harry who has now had time to calm down nods at his question. Louis' hands cup Harry's cheeks in such a caring way as he examines Harry's swollen and red face. He pulls him into a tight hug and in this moment, Harry feels all of his problems being washed away in the touch of Louis. Even if it's just a hug, it's better than nothing. It's better than most things actually. The entire world around them turned into nothingness as they just hold each other so tightly they're almost hurting each other. 

"Lou?" Harry croaks still numb and broken, "I met his family. His new family." He begins to cry into Louis' shoulder and Lou decides to sit on his lap and bring him in closer to be able to be in a comfortable position for the both of them. "His kids didn't even know we existed, not me my mum or my sister exist to them. I stood up to him, but I still feel so-" He sobs again not able to finish his sentence. 

"Shhh. I know, you don't have to talk." He strokes the back of Harry's hair with his hand in a comforting way. Almost every interaction they have one on one he learns a new side of Louis. He's like an onion, you need to peel the layers back one by one. Harry just pulls him in tighter. Sitting on this cold disgusting ground with a member of a royal family in the dirty ally ways of London is not how Harry would've pictured his day. But even with the shit show that happened, this is perfect. Being with him is perfect. 

They sit there holding each other fr a good 10 or so minutes. Together. This is what Harry wanted. Comfort. Once they let up, they look into each other's eyes and that click happens once again. Louis can see the deepened pain that this has caused him. This was a very large trigger. Harry hadn't seen his dad in ten years, so of course this would affect him this way, and Louis knows this, but Harry is still trying to be strong. Louis gives him a smile as to say, it's okay to be vulnerable. Harry returns that smile as he can see the care in Louis' eyes. The pain in seeing Harry so hurt. He just wants to help him. Loui gets up on his feet and helps Harry up. Not saying a word until...

"So... Did you drive here?" Louis asks as his lift had already left him there. Harry nods. "Do you want me to go back with you?"

"Don't you have family business to attend to?" Louis looks taken aback at this comment but Harry realizes right away, "I'm only saying that because you said that's what you were doing, I wasn't trying to be condescending." Louis' smile reappears with Harry's clarification. 

"Erm I did, but I honestly couldn't give a flying fuck. it's not like I want to go into the family business anyways." He nudges Harry's arm playfully at that last line, "come on, let's get some food and go back home. Okay?" He's taking care of him. But not in a patronizing or condescending way. No, but in a careful but kind way, another side Harry has never seen. His nurturing side. And the day Harry had in his head of him and Louis in London is being actualized. He nods and they walk together. Not hand in hand as Harry would've wanted but also he doesn't care. As long as he's with him, it doesn't matter if they're together, friends, or even enemies, he just wants to be near him no matter what that means. 

Together


	12. Twelve : The Friend Agreement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis spend the day together.

Harry and Louis walk down the street into this lovely little cafe, they've decided to sit down and eat at together. Just the two of them. In any other circumstance this could be considered a date, but today, Harry is just glad to not be alone. Harry is visibly calmer now. Louis notices, which is why he feels that now is the good time to bring up family.

"So Harry. You told me some about your family, but I'm so sorry about what happened today. You don't deserve that one bit. Family to me used to mean so much. Such importance they held, even after all the years of isolation with Lucy, I still had faith. Which, now I realize was a mistake but I still did, and I know right now is really hard for you." He reaches over to touch Harry's hand, "But, know this. Family doesn't actually need to mean everything." harry completely forgot about Louis' hardships of his parents split until this exact moment. He feels like an arse for calling him now.

"Oh my god, Lou I'm so sorry that I called you when you're going thro-"

"No no no it's okay! I wanted to get out of there anyways, and just because I'm going through shit, doesn't mean you cant come to me. I want to be here for you." He squeezes Harry's hand thats still under his and pulls it off and back to begin choosing his meal. Harry keeps his hand in that position to keep lingering on the feeling of his skin on his. 

"So you want me in your life?" Harry asks in a very weakened voice, enough that Louis could very much pretend like he didn't hear him. Harry feels pathetic asking this, but it's how he honestly feels. He feels as though Louis wants nothing to do with him.

"Of course I do, Harry." His face falls at Harry's question, hurt at his words, but also understanding of why. He takes a long pause before continuing. 

"I know I've been.... Well, you know, but there's so much happening that you don't know."

"Then tell me." Harry says bluntly, "Obviously you're with Eleanor for a reason, and you're avoiding me for a reason, I'm in the dark, Lou." Harry is letting out almost all of the thoughts that have been going through his head ever since Halloween. 

"It's not that easy..."

"Yes, it is. You know I won't say anything. Louis, I can't keep going through these mixed signals, it's exhausting." He's really not holding back right now. 

"Harry..." Louis says but Harry crosses his arms and gives Louis this look that says,'you need to answer' all over it. 

"It's my family." He starts, "Being in this family is an automatic job." He looks around to make sure there's no one close enough to listen into their conversation, "Even if I wanted to do something else, I have to go into the family business, which means following all of their rules." Harry is trying to understand what any of this has to do with treating Harry like he doesn't exist. He shows this with a very confused scrunching of his brows at Louis. 

"I....came out.... to my parents when I was around 18." He whispered 'came out' so that no one could hear them even though they weren't anywhere near them. "They were accepting of me, privately, but they told me for the public image of the family, I needed to keep it quiet. So whenever I would have feelings for anyone, they would hire El to date me to take the eyes off of me." Things are starting to make sense. When Cassie told Harry they were on and off, why they were fighting, but who was it that Louis loved that made them need to call her?

"Who is it?" Harry blurts out. He's really not able to stop himself. 

"What?" Louis is taken back a bit from this sudden question. 

"Who is it this time that made her come back?" Harry has a theory, but he wants to hear him say it. 

"Isn't it obvious?" He's avoiding. But, Harry's theory is actualizing more and more. It's him. The man Louis said he loved. But love is a big word. Well, Louis doesn't know he heard that part of that conversation. Harry falls silent as their eyes meet. They click again. Harry can see Louis' answer to his question in his eyes, that scream, "it's you" so loudly. Harry doesn't know how to respond other than smiling slightly at his questions being answered the way he wished they would. 

"But," Louis starts again making Harrys smile fade fast. Louis tears his gaze away from Harry. The man he's doing all of this because of. 

This time. It's happened before. Harry isn't special. 

"We can't. And now you know why." he looks back into Harry's now sad expression. "But, that doesn't mean I don't want you in my life...... as a friend." And with those last three words, every letter felt like a stab into Harry's chest. A friend. Harry doesn't know what he expected honestly. He knew there was a reason for all of this, and he can't expect for him to be the special one that breaks the cycle of Eleanor cover ups. But, with every word, he wants to cry.In every word, he wants to roll back up into a ball and die. But, alas he can't. And before he could begin to breathe harder and his eyes going black he feels a hand on his, and his vision is back in focus. It's Louis', a comforting gesture. "Harry?" Harry looks back up at him with eyes wide to meet very worried and saddened eyes that belong to the man on the other side of the table. He hadn't even thought about how much this shit must affect him. Having to stay closeted, not by choice. Having to be kept stuck. 

"Are you okay, Louis?" Harry asks, genuinely. He feels like a selfish prick for completely personalizing all of this information. "I mean, this must be shit to go through all the time. How are you doing?" Harry's worry is now completely on Louis. He couldn't give two shits about himself when Louis is hurting, even if nothing can happen, he doesn't want him to hurt. He wants to be the one to help him, even if it has to be as a friend. Louis seems surprised at Harry's question.

"No one has ever actually asked me that about this. Well, no one but Eleanor. But, obviously." He pauses. Harry's demeanor changes into a protective stance. He decides to move his hand thats under Louis' to hold onto it as equally as Louis is. "I'm okay. Well, as okay as I can be. I wish I could be completely in it with someone I actually want to be with. But, if this is what I need to do, then I'll do it." He looks down again but Harry squeezes his hand to bring him back. 

"Do you want to do what your family does?" Harry asks, he wants to help, he wants to find a way to free him. It may not necessarily be his place to do anything, but he could at least think about it. 

"Not at all. I wish I had a way to get out of it, but I can't. I'm first born, it has to be me." 

"What if you did..... come out..... publicly, what would actually happen?" 

"There's never been a ... different royal ever in history. I'd be the first, meaning criticism, meaning I'd be less credible, I know it's fucked up, but it's the world we live in. My parents don't want to take that risk, so we keep El on call when she's needed." Harry feels so much for him in this moment. He can't even imagine. 

"I'm so sorry, Louis." He pulls his hand away from his as to not cause attention on them. "I'll be whatever you want me to be to you. I'll be your friend, I'll be whatever, as long as I can be in your life." At this Louis face turns bright, his mouth turns into a wide teeth grin. This made him so very happy. His happiness is contagious because Harry immediately broke out into a smile as well. 

"Friends?" Louis says as he reaches his hand over the table as to handshake. Harry takes his hand as they shake, "Friends." Harry answers. 

For the rest of their lunch together they moved on from serious topics to talk about everything ranging from their favorite music artists, other than Queen, and which movies/Tv shows are superior. The rest of their lunch goes by quickly as they laugh and smile their way through together. 

"I'm still baffled at the fact that you've never seen Back to the Future!" Louis begins while mocking a shocked face. 

"What?! I don't watch movies often, especially not older ones."

"But it's a CLASSIC! That's it we're watching it when we get back, you're free tonight right?"

"Erm... yeah?" Harry says 

"Okay we're going back to mine and I'm making you watch it." Harry's not going to say no to spending even more time with Louis. Now that they have a mutual agreement to be 'friends' Harry feels better, I mean the word still makes him want to throw up even thinking about it, but any opportunity to continue to spend time with him is good for him.

They finish up at the restaurant and make their way back to Harry's car as Louis didn't bring one here. Louis grabs Harry's phone immediately and queues all of his favorite songs they were talking about earlier that Harry didn't know. "You're going to love these Haz" 

"Haz?" Harry smirks at the nickname Louis is now using for him.

"We've talked about this Harold, I get to call you whatever I want." He jokingly boops Harry's nose before putting on his seatbelt and driving back towards uni. The car ride, while slightly long because of traffic, was eventful to say the least. They sing along to both of their favorite songs that they showed each other while also telling them all about their history and importance to them. All ending off with Queen, Somebody to Love, as they pull up to Louis' place. Both singing their hearts out, but Harry meaning each and every word as well as Louis for some bits.

"Well I've got to get out of this prison cell, someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!" Louis screams. 

"Can anybody find me, somebody to love" Harry sings, well yells. They sit in his driveway belting to the song together. Harry is loving every bit of this. He loves seeing Louis so happy and excited. He loves seeing him get excited and passionate over movies and tv shows and music, it gives Harry life. It breathes life into him that he's been missing since their last interaction. Every moment spent together is another blessing in Harry's eyes.

Once they get out of the car they make their way back to the house. Lucy is there, as always, cooking for Louis and singing to whatever song she has playing while she cooks. 

"Hi Lucy!" They both say in unison. Louis smiles at the fact that Harry is already acustomed to Louis' lifestyle. 

"Hi boys! Food will be ready in about an hour!" 

"Thank you so much." Louis walks over to her and hugs her. This is super sweet to Harry, because he would give anything to hug someone like a Lucy right now, someone like, his mum. Especially after dad, he could really use a mum cuddle right about now. But, he decides not to bring it up to her until tomorrow as he's still too overwhelmed today to continue dealing with it. Louis takes Harry's hand and leads him back to his bedroom, passing that painting he gazes upon every time he comes over. 

They get into his room and plop on his bed and Louis searches for Back to the Future, the first of three Harry had just learned. Tonight's going to be a long night, but he's not complaining, he'd spend every second with Louis if he could. They both lay down on his bed and start the movie as they wait for their food. Which eventually they pause to eat and come back. Talking rubbish the entire time, friend stuff. Harry going into his head too much about Louis' meaning of friend. No benefits? Probably not, as to not lead him on. What they're doing right now? To Harry, this is what he would do with any friend really, except in the past, he never had this big of a crush on any of those friends, never until Louis. Which is proving to be making this a lot more difficult for him.

They ley back down on the bed as to continue watching the movie, but Harry is growing increasingly tired as the minutes drag on. Louis moves in closer to him, then Harry, then Louis again, until they're proper cuddling now. Harry doesn't do this with 'friends' but also maybe Louis does? 

He's too jumbled in his head, he doesn't know what to think, or what to feel other than he loves the feeling of Louis' warmth on his chest. He places his arm around him and lays his head on top of Louis' head, as he is taller than him. Louis snuggles in closer as he is visibly beginning to fall asleep along with Harry. 

And, After a long exhausting day in London, for both of them, they drift asleep in each other's arms.

-

Harry is jolted awake around 7 am when he hears the bathroom door close. It's Louis, he went up to go to the toilet. Harry contemplates leaving right now, yes it's early, but as a friend he doesn't want to overstay his welcome. 

Louis pops out of the bathroom shirtless, wearing only his boxers with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. Once Harry sees this sight he chuckles. He's the most adorable person he's ever met. And, he's half naked right now. Harry also sleeps that way, so he isn't surprised, but he can't help but stare. 

He drags his gaze away from Louis and begins with, " Erm, I should probably leave." He knows staying here longer than this isn't going to be good for Louis' work and Harry's feelings. He doesn't think he can take any more pain from Louis on again off again feelings towards Harry. 

"No don't! I-" Louis pauses because he knows he has nothing good to say to get him to stay, no matter how much he wants to make him stay, "okay. Well, I had a lot of fun." He smiles softly. Louis surprises Harry almost every interaction they have, new parts of his personality Harry had never explored before. 

Louis comes over and sits next to Harry after finishing his tooth brushing. "I'm sorry again about what happened yesterday with your family, I'm always here if you need help." He grabs Harry's hand again but this time pulling into his lap while squeezing it. So comforting to Harry. 

"Thank you, Boobear."

"Boobear???" Louis visibly gags.

"What? You can have nick names for me but I cant for you?"

"You can, just not shit ones like'boobear' fuck off with that shit."There's the sassy man he lo- likes. 

"But, seriously, thank you, and you're still welcome at our place if you need a place to live. You could probably take Liam's or something and the couple can sleep together." Harry says almost heavily sarcastically. "But, just know, I care about you too. You're just as valid as the rest of us, and I will help you in any way I can." He smirks at him and Louis squeezes his hand which is still in his lap. 

"Can I walk you out?" Louis asks and Harry nods. Harry grabs all of his stuff and Louis puts on some clothes and they're on their way to his car once again, in that driveway, once again. Last time he was here he cried on the concrete for an hour almost. They reach his car and Harry puts his shit inside before turning around to say goodbye. 

"Thank you again, Lou, I did actually have a lot of fun with you." Harry has this urge to kiss him again. A goodbye kiss. A kiss on the cheek. 

"Me too, you're actually fun when you want to be." The sass Harry Loves. He decides to go for it but to keep it as 'friendly' as possible. 

He leans down and makes his way to Louis' cheek as he places his lips onto his skin. Louis trembles beneath him and this contact shakes him up. ts slow and sensual, so much for 'friendly' but Harry finds another thing to do to make this all make sense in his mind. He finishes his kiss as he moves his lips to Louis' ear. 

"To be continued." He said in a breathy and mysterious voice. He decides that this is the perfect time to enter his car. 

"Goodbye Lou, I'll see you later....... friend." He smirks at Louis who's face grows into a frown. he knows he shouldn't feel angry at this but he does, because even though it was Louis' idea to be 'friends' he still hates it and want to be free just like the song said. 

"Bye Harold." He begins while still shaky from that cheek kiss. "And yes, to be continued." He smirks back at Harry. Harry shuts the car door and starts up his engine and begins to back up. 

And as he waves at Louis goodbye, he can't help but smile all the way back to his flat while listening to 'Somebody to Love' which is now quickly becoming his favorite Queen song. And no it's not because of Louis. Okay maybe it is, but he still loves the song.

He finally makes his way back home before plopping back onto his own bed to finish his sleep cycle that he's not following by going out. 

"Goodnight world!" He says out loud even though it's morning. 

To be continued. Hell yeah they will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much again for reading this. I very much so love writing it, so I hope you love reading it!


	13. Thirteen : New Flat Mate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis needs a place to go

Harry wakes up to yelling outside his door. Liam and Niall. Yelling. Oh no. What now? He grudges out of bed as he slept for 2 hours the night before after an all night bender. He got back around 5 in the morning after spending all night with Zayn, Cassie, Eleanor, and best of all Louis.

Harry had been enjoying the last two weeks being around him every day, going out with him at night, even enjoying Eleanor's company now that he knows what's going on. Almost any chance for him to be close to Louis is a win in his book. But, another thing that comes over him in these situations. An overwhelming feeling of pain. In his chest. In his heart. Whenever he sees Louis have to be loving with Eleanor. He knows it's all fake, but it doesn't make it hurt any less when he sees someone else kissing the man he wants to be kissing. He finds that he needs to look away every time. But, if he has to endure some kind of pain in order to keep him close, he'll take that over not having him at all any day.

As he stands up he realizes that he's still very drunk from the night before. Still wobbling but sober enough to go and find out what's going on. Harry walks out to the living room to find Liam and Niall in a screaming match. They didn't join them the night before as they wanted to have private date night to themselves.

"Why wouldn't you tell me Li?" Niall yells towards Liam, but with more of a hint of a whine in his voice.

"You didn't need to know!!" Liam spits back at him.

"You didn't think your own boyfriend needed to know what people have been saying about me? About us?!" Niall is proper screaming as Harry blinks a few time to adjust to the scene developing in front of him. He rubs his eyes to help but it doesn't seem to do much as he's still fairly pissed from the night prior.

"I didn't want you to know." Liam responds softly, defeated. "I didn't want you to be hurt." At this Niall's shoulders relax now that the fighting has subsided into a more manageable conversation. Harry tries to step forward a bit, trying to stay unnoticed, but to no avail when the floor boards creek under his big foot. Niall and Liam whip their heads to look at a very tired looking Harry. He gives them a quick smile before walking over to the kitchen to grab some water. Niall and Liam pick up their conversation pretty much ignoring Harry's presence.

"Liam. Babe." Niall grabs Liam's hand and brings him to the couch so they can sit together, "I understand that you want to protect me, but I am an adult, like you. If someone is threatening you or me I want to know. You can't hold all of this alone or else you're going to go crazy."

Liam chuckles a bit sinister but with a high amount of love and relief in it, "I've been going crazy." He says still looking down at their hands as he leans into Niall's chest.

"Li, I'm here to help you. This is a partnership, when we start keeping things from each other, thats when the trust goes away. Promise me you'll be honest and tell me things from now on."

Harry just looks at them in disbelief. He'd never seen conversations like this between couples. But also Harry had never grown up seeing any healthy relationships. This is so foreign to him. Liam just nods and they come together in a hug as Harry continues to stare at them while drinking his water.

He decided not to tell his mum or family about seeing his father yet. He doesn't know exactly why, but he just can't bear to do it for some reason. Every time he thinks about it he gets so sad and angry that he needs to think about something else. He's found that thinking about Louis gives him this overwhelming feeling of peace and that's when he found his antidote. It comforts him even though they can't actually be together, just having him close makes him feel safe and calm. He smiles just thinking about the blue eyes maniac.

Both of them have been catching glances at each other ofter the last few weeks every time they're together. Even hanging out alone every once in a while. Nothing too spectacular, just the same studying, or watching movies while making fun of each other the usual stuff. But he has noticed that every one on one session they have, they move closer and closer together.

Like how a few nights ago they were watching through some of Louis' favorite movies as they has already indulged in most of Harry's requests. Laying on Louis' bed watching into the night. Louis always falls asleep whenever they watch movies together and Harry can't help but study him when he does. His calm face. All the worry that's always prevalent in the lines of his skin, perfectly smooth. Even sometimes a hint of a smile. Harry can't help but watch him. Louis leans into him before falling asleep, almost forcing Harry to put his arm around him to be in a more comfortable position. But, Harry obviously wouldn't decline. Louis sleeps in the crook of Harry's neck, admittedly making it hard for him to study him this night, but the feeling of him so close to his skin makes up for it tenfold. The shivers coursing through Harry's body as he feels Louis' warm breath on his neck. It almost makes him chuckle at how cute he is in this moment, but he refrains as to not wake up the sleepy royal boy on his shoulder. He decides the only other comfortable position for him is to rest his head on top of Louis, deepening their hold.

When they both woke up in the morning, their arms and legs were intertwined in a very strange yet intimate way. Harry woke up first and tried to move out of his grasp as Louis was almost holding onto him for dear life. And to no avail. He moves back in and cuddles Louis until he wakes up to. Harry is slightly worried for their next one on one because he doesn't know what's going to happen every time he goes over to see him. He shakes that nights amazing memory out of his head as he sees Niall stand up and walk over to Harry as Liam goes to clean up.

"hey mate, you look shitty." Niall says in the most blunt way possible.

"Oi!! I just woke up!!" He chuckles. "So what's going on in paradise?" Harry finishes his water and decides to make some tea to wake him up.

"Just some dickheads in one of his classes has been harassing him about being with me. I wish I could just do something, but he didn't even tell me until this morning and it's been going on all semester!" Niall still seems a bit heated even though they had already finished their argument.

"Seems to me like you need to communicate more." Harry says slightly without thinking. He soon regrets it when Niall scoffs.

"Communication! HA! Coming from you?!" He begins to laugh, genuinely laugh.

"hey what's that supposed to mean?"

"mate, it's so obvious how much you wanna bang Louis, just get on with it already. Tell him, do something." He seems almost matter of fact, as if he knows somethings off with El and him too.

"Well, I obviously can't do that with Eleanor. And we're just friends, Ni. Nothing more" He feels the need to defend himself even though Niall is extremely correct. Harry does want more than a friendship. He wants to kiss him without shame. He wants to walk around with him and make out with him at parties. Yet he hasn't kissed him since the time Louis told him about his parents. It's worse to Harry and hurts more to know that they both want this so bad, but can't act on it, or show each other they want it.

"I guess but it doesn't hurt to be honest, even if it hurts. It's better than living a lie." And harry is slightly taken aback. Not by what he said but by how close it related to both him AND Louis. Living a lie. Like a fake girlfriend. Or hiding ones feelings for another. It's all a web of lies and pain and Harry hates every second of it, but he's doing it for Louis, he'd do anything for Louis.

All of a sudden Harry wants nothing to do with this conversation anymore and diverts it away so he can go back to his room.

"Thanks Ni. Well I better get ready for the day so I don't look or feel shitty for most of it." Niall just nods at him. Harry is sure he knows exactly what he's doing by changing the subject but he doesn't stop him and he's eternally grateful. Once he goes back to his room he sees his phon with so many messages.

LOUIS

Missed call from LOUIS

LOUIS

Fuck. What's going on.

*Harry?*

*I need you*

And at that he immediately calls him. Frantic, panicking. Is he okay? WHat's going on? He picks up right away to Harry's convenience.

"Harry?" He says slightly panicked as well.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Harry's proper worried and it isn't even 8 yet.

"No." Louis voice cracks. "No, I'm outside your flat. My parents kicked me out and..." He can't even finish his sentence. This breaks Harry's heart. He knew Louis was hurting from his parents situation but he hasn't talked about it much. Any time the situation being brought up, he immediately changes the subject. Harry doesn't push though because he doesn't want to scare him off or him to stop needing him or coming to him.

"You don't need to say any more I'm coming." harry hangs up and rushes to put on a sweatshirt and shoes before running outside into the cold morning rain to meet Louis sitting inside his car hunched over the wheel. Harry hesitates for a second before knocking softly on the passenger seat window, yet it still shocks Louis. His head pops up from the wheel and once his eyes meet Harry's he jumps out of the car and runs to him. Smashing into him with a big hug, so strong it knocks Harry back a few steps. Nonetheless, he holds him. Louis needs him right now, and Harry is what he'll get.

"Harry I-"

"Shhh." Harry begins stroking the back of his head, "you don't need to talk." Louis relaxes into Harry's hold. The rain growing stronger and thicker as they continue to hug outside Louis' car.

After they're properly soaked they break the hug.

"I have my stuff with me. Could I possibly take you up on that flat offer?" Harry's worry stays but now has a loving smile plastered on top of it.

"Of course. I'll help you bring it up." Louis smiles back at him, a broken smile, but a smile nonetheless, which is better than pure despair.

They make their way up to the flat and barge in soaking wet to see Niall still sitting at the counter.

"Oi! Louis! Do you need help mate?" He says a little too late as they had already placed all of their bags down.

"Thank you, I'm good for now. Just thought I could stay here for a bit. Thought it could be fun. Living the college life." Every hint of Pain that was on his face and voice completely gone in these words. Harry almost forgot that no one knows what's actually happening. Harry is the only one who knows, not even Zayn, which is surprising. He's almost flattered at that, but it quickly turns to pain when he remembers how awful Louis must feel. Yet he's impressed by how calm and collected he seems talking to Niall, as if nothing is wrong. Like, it's any other Saturday.

"Oh cool! I'm going to go rest a bit and give you time to settle. call if you need me." Niall quickly states as he shuffles to his room. Harry knows exactly what he's doing. Giving them "alone time." And just like that, it's just them.

"Here, let's bring them into my room and you can wash up in the bathroom." Louis' fake smile he was giving Niall completely gone now as they move everything into Harry's room. Louis has never seen Harry's room before. He'd come over a few times but never ventured so far to see how the other half lived. Which is slightly ironic. Unlike Louis, Harry keeps his room absolutely spotless. If there's more than a calm amount of mess it causes him stress until he cleans it. But, in this circumstance, Louis' things bring him comfort more than anything. he's here. With him. In his room. Alone. Louis still silent. He shifts through his bags until he finds a clean and dry outfit he can wear.

"hey, is it okay if I.... shower?" He says, voice softer than normal.

"Of course! Use and do whatever you need. I don't mind." He just gives him a shifty smile before making his way to the bathroom. In these 10 min of him washing up Harry tries to fix up his room. Deciding to change his sheets, which he was going to do anyway, but to make them not smell like vodka from him sleeping there the night prior.

Also just in case Louis needs it. He also grabs some clothes so he can wash up too from last nights bad decisions. Louis walks out clean and calm. Not distressed, not even sad, just numb. He looks up at Harry and hives him the fakest smile he's ever seen. This just makes him furrow his brows more in concern.

"hey so you can lay on my bed and rest if you need and after my shower we can get food or make some. Whatever you want." He doesn't want to come off like he's babying him or anything, but he also doesn't want him to feel neglected. Louis nods and replies with a soft, "thank you Harry."

He nods back at Louis before making his way into the bathroom. Throughout his shower he goes back and forth in his mind of how to go about this. Just be comforting and supportive. Whatever he wants and needs. But once he's done and moves back out to his room he finds Louis asleep on top of his bed. This makes Harry smile softly at how peaceful he looks. The face he has studying so thoroughly and vividly on Harry's own bed. He can't even believe it. He's actually there, real and solid and not a dream. He doesn't want to intrude on his calm slumber so Harry decides to tidy up some stuff around the room and go to the living room. Once he finishes with the room he begins walking toward the bedroom door when he hears a muffled noise. It's the familiar sound of a tired Louis. He turns around and sees Louis laying down with one eye open, he arm spread towards Harry.

"Huh?" Harry says back at him as he walks towards him to hear better.

"Stay. Please?" Sounds almost like a beg and it's the second time he asked this of him. He isn't complaining he wanted to do this but he didn't wanna overpower him. Harry walks close enough so Louis can grab his arm with his stretched out one. "Stay with me please?" He asks again as he hugs Harry's arm into a cuddle. How can Harry say no when he's look at him with those big puppy dog eyes. He gives him a slightly too happy smile and says ,"of course make some room."

At this Louis scoots over as to let Harry move in behind him, not letting go of Harry's arm, Louis moves it so Harry is in a ver big spoon like position. Harry's instincts kick in before he can rationally think of anything and he pulls Louis in tighter so that his chest is flesh with his back. The touch sending heat throughout the room. Warmth, loving and comforting. Warmth. At this move Louis hugs Harry's arm tighter before he drifts off to sleep again.   
Harry, who's ready didn't do much help in waking him up begins to doze off too until he eventually dreams.

-

The rest of the day was mostly silent. Louis just wanted to be as close to Harry as possible, not much talking or explaining, which Harry kind of blames himself for when he said he didn't need to talk. But he still likes the company the cuddling. It's the most chill, laid back day he's had in a while and he likes that it's with the man he's been longing for all semester. It makes it that much better. They watched movies, had some small on the surface conversations, but mostly slept. 

It's slowly approaching night time when Louis finds the perfect time to unload what happened to bring him here in the first place. Harry already knows his parents, but he hasn't heard anything since the first day they discussed it. 

"We fought." He says almost out of the blue, which slightly confuses Harry for a moment before realization sets in that he's about to explain, "Me and my parents fought again, but this time it's the worst it's ever been. I brought up again that I don't want to follow in their footsteps into royalty, even though that's my role. And even if I say no it'll go straight to the next male in line meaning my cousin Michael who would do a great job. And I fought that to them too! I made my case..." He pauses as he lowers his voice to a mumble it took almost all of Harry's being to understand the next few words, " And I may have brought up that I'd like to date men publicly. And everything turned to shit after that!!! They were already frustrated enough by my thoughts of not continuing the family legacy, but then bringing up this sent them over the edge." He looks down into his hands as he is now sitting up on the bed as Harry was in the process of moving his things around to fit Louis' stuff. But, he pauses so that he can turn to speak to Louis and give him all of his attention.

"Hey, Lou." He walks over to him as he kneels in front of him, grabbing his hands that have been fidgeting for the last few hours. He sees a tear fall from Louis' eye, which the sight breaks Harry's heart. He reaches his hand up to his face to wipe it away as he begins, "Hey, I'm here. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I'd understand." He brings his hand back down to grab Louis' before squeezing it. 

"No, I want you to know." Louis finally looks up to meet Harry's gaze. And just like that, harry can see into his inner soul. His pain, his hurt. He just want's to wipe it all away, but he knows he can't. "Their divorce though surprisingly doesn't feel all that different from when they were together. I guess that's what happens when they were never around to begin with. But, I just feel like everything is about image to them. They don't care about me or my feelings, or what I want my future to look like, they care about how others see them. And I, well, I'm an accessory." He rips his hands out of Harry's to cover his face in frustration. Harry doesn't know what to do in this moment. Should he sit with him, talk to him, stay silent. he doesn't know but he settles on sitting near him on the bed, but not too close to make him uncomfortable. Which doesn't even matter anyways as Louis stands up and begins pacing back and forth across Harry's room. 

"And do you want to know what they said to me? What they TOLD me? Word for word?" He pauses a tad before going in again, "They said, 'you can have your identity crises in a few years, we can't have a divorce and a gay son too close together.' I mean how disgusting is that. It's like I'm a headline, let alone their own son." He throws his arms up in anger as he continues to pace, voice rising. "So I threatened them." Harry stands up almost instantly and without thinking, "you what?"

"Relax, not anything bad. Well It's bad to them. I threatened that I'd come out and tell everyone everything, because if their image is all they care about, I have no problem ruining that." He says it almost in a snide yet sad way. His voice drops again, "But, I don't even know if I'm ready for the whole world to know, let alone the whole school." He stops pacing and Harry finds this is the perfect time to go to him and talk face to face. 

"Hey, you should come out when you're truly ready and comfortable, not to spite your parents." He puts his hands on Louis shoulders to steady him. "No one can tell you what to do." he freezes at his choice of words, which is slightly ironic at the situation, so he adds, "anymore." Louis looks up at him again resting one of his hands on harry's that's still on his shoulder. 

"Thank you Harry." he lets out a big sigh before finishing his rant, " After that, they threw me out. Gave me an hour to pack up my whole life and leave. But, thank god for Lucy. She told me she'd deliver everything I couldn't get. Bless her. But, that's everything until I showed up to your house wet as a dog asking for your help." He looks down again slightly embarrassed at the fact that he needed help. 

"hey." Harry brings his free hand to Louis' chin and tilts him up to face him. "It's okay to ask for help. Hell I offered it. You're always welcome here." At this Louis' frown turns into another half smile, but this time it feels more real, more genuine. And, without warning Louis goes on his tippie toes and gives Harry his biggest hug yet. Holding him tight, squeezing him close. Making sure he can never leave. That he's actually properly real. He lets out a muffled, "thank you." into Harry's shoulder and it is the key to melting Harry's heart into Louis'. He replies, "always." as they stand there, holding each other for a few seconds longer than normal. 

They separate and catch a glance at each other, now with this familiar tension in the air. Only other time's he's felt this was when they had those tiny fits of passion, that Louis had explicitly said 'can't happen' so Harry tries his best to hold back. But, not to his knowledge, Louis is doing the exact same thing. Holding in. They stand awkwardly until one of them has the guts to start talking. 

"So.... um.... do you think it would be okay if I... um.... slept in here tonight?" Louis asks so timidly. So dislike him, other than when he's in these kinds of low moods. Harry nods before he could even finish the last word, "Of course! I'll go out in the living room." He points to the door.

"No! Um..." He's hesitating. Harry's heart is beating out of his chest waiting for these next few words to come out. Hoping he'll say exactly what he wants. "It's okay! I can just make myself comfy on the floor if you don't mind." Okay not what he wanted, but still better than the living room. His heart begins to beat normally again before he answers. 

"of course, that's fine! Here use these." Harry goes to his bed and underneath he has extra blankets and pillows ready for any occasion. He hands Louis a big pile of them. Louis as he reaches to grab them slides over Harry's hands slowly. Just that small touch was enough to fill Harry's pounding heart for weeks. He gives Harry another small half smile but this time it's paired with a pair of rosy cheeks. He's blushing. This in turn makes Harry begin to blush as well. He darts his head away before Louis could see though. He can't tease him like that, or show him any sliver of hope, when he was very clear to him that this could never happen. That it could never work. 

"Erm, thanks, mate." Louis responds awkwardly before setting up his makeshift bed on the floor. Harry just turns slightly and gives him a nod. And those are the last words they spoke to each other for the night.

-

"hey. harry." a whisper is called to Harry in his sleep. 

"harry?" Slightly louder. 

"Harry." accompanies with a soft shove, brings Harry slightly awake. 

"Hmm? What?" He opens one eyes and see's a very worried looking Louis towering over him. He looks down at his clock next to his bed as it says 2:14 in the morning. 

"Erm.. I can't sleep." Harry blinks at Louis slightly confused as to why he has to wake him up to tell him that. "And.... Can I maybe.... sleep with you?" At this both of Harry's eyes widen open as he's now fully awake at his words. Blinking a few times to make sure this isn't a dream. 

"Erm. Of course Lou." 

"Thank you." Harry opens his covers and scoots back slightly to open a small space for Louis to fit in, which he does, perfectly. In this moment, harry decides to be a bit brave. His judgment could also be clouded by his lack of sleep for two nights in a row, but he does it anyway. He rests the arm that was holding the covers up for him over Louis body as an intimate gesture. A cuddle. It's not like they hadn't don't this before. He thinks back to even earlier that day, how close they were, this shouldn't feel different, and yet, it does. It feels bigger, closer, better.

Louis moves his hand up to meet the tip of Harry's hand that's over him. Not necessarily holding it, but tracing it. Using his finders to fiddle with Harry's almost limp hand. Harry begins to move his hand in a similar way. As to fiddle with Louis' fingers until one of them begin to interlock their fingers, slowly, and intimately. 

To others, this may seem like the smallest, most unimportant gesture, but to Harry, it's the biggest, most important one in the world. 

"Are you comfortable?" Harry asks without thinking. Fuck. he should've just kept it to himself, cus now Louis might be scared off. Yet, he doesn't move.

"Mmmhmm." Louis says in a matter-of-fact way. By this point Harry is wide awake, he can't even think about Sleep when Louis is laying here, being this open with him. And almost to Harry's cue, Louis moves around so he's now laying face up, which gives Harry a full view. He can't look away. Louis looks back in almost the same way, yet with a glimmer of pain in his eyes. 

"I don't want to hide anymore. I don't want to deny it anymore. I'm tired Harry. So fucking exhausted." He sounds so defeated so small. Harry doesn't know how to respond to this middle of the night confession. He squeezes Louis hand in his as a sign of support. Louis moves his hand and moves his body up onto his elbows as an attempt to move closer to where Harry is. Faces inches away from each other. 

"So I've decided I'm done." He makes his face smug with this confession while Harry furrows his brows at his words. 

"Done with what?"

"I'm done hiding because of my parents, I'm done pretending to be someone I'm supposed to be, I'm done" He stops himself, "Fuck!" He throws himself back down onto the bed again and Harry is more confused than ever, furrowing his brows more as he squints his eyes at this neurotic man in his bed. Neurotic but so fucking cute. He just want to lay with him, comfort him, kiss him. Louis sits up so he's now sitting straight up. He turns his body so that he's full facing Harry who decides to follow suit as he sits straight up as well to face him back. 

"I'm done dating some chick I barely even like. I'm done pretending like I don't want to dance with you at every party." He leans closer with every word and at the last confession, Harry's heart begins to pound again, even more than before. It's happening. it's really happening. 

"I'm done hiding my true feelings. I'm done being controlled. And I'm done...." He pauses as he leans even closer. Their faces are now around two inches apart, Louis now looking down at Harry's lips with such desire. He looks back up to meet Harry's wandering eyes. 

"with pretending like I don't want to kiss you every damn second we spend together." Harry's eyes wide now as he's holding onto every word that's coming from Louis' mouth. Louis looks into his green eyes with such calculation, but overwhelmed with desire. Their eyes click once again, with knowledge. Understanding. And with that they smash their faces together like it was the most important thing in the world. Moving in closer and closer. Harry now laying back down on the bed but taking Louis with him. So much build up leading to this point, and all of the pain of wanting him every single day and not being able to have him becoming worth it as their lips and bodies move in sync with one another. Undressing each other swiftly. Kissing down the neck in the slowest, loving way imaginable. The best feeling in the world to Harry. Every touch, every bite, every graze, sending bolts of electricity through his body and beating his heart in tune with his. There could be nothing better than this moment. Harry will cherish this night forever. 

-

In the morning they wake up at the same time. Fully naked, with legs and bodies tangled together into one comfortable mess. Once Louis' eyes meet Harry's, Harry smiles and says "Hi" in the cutest and happiest voice. Louis closes his eyes and smiles while letting out a soft moan. 

"Hi" Their smiles widen. They lay there for a few more seconds before one of them speaks again. "I can't believe we waited that long to finally do that" Louis says as he snuggles into Harry's chest. 

"hey I just wanted to respect your space and boundaries." Harry lets out a chuckle

"yeah fuck those boundaries, all they did was make me miserable, when that was probably the happiest I've been in a long time. I was so nervous, I thought you were going to kick me out." Harry's eyes soften at this. He would never do that. 

"How could I when I've been wanting you for so long?" Harry says before kissing Louis' forehead. "You knew I liked you though." Harry finishes. 

"And you knew I liked you!" Louis spits back in laughter.

"OI! No I didn't!! I thought you'd probably only want me as a fling or something!!" Louis backs up giving Harry a look of utter disbelief. 

"Fuck off, you knew." Louis smirks at him and Harry gives in.

"Okay, I thought maybe, but I didn't want to get my hopes up! You're this popular, hot, royal man, and I'm just me."

"You're everything Harry." This comes out so quick, Louis looks surprised at his own words, but settles and doesn't take them back. Harry can't help but blush. 

"Do you really think that?" Harry wants to hear him say it again. yes he's a little selfish that way, but he needs it to be meaningful, not a spur of the moment sentence. Louis looks at him a bit annoyed that he has to repeat it when he's probably embarrassed but he obliges. 

"I do. I really do. I don't think I can remember the last time I felt this alive before I met you. Even when I fucking hated you, you prick." he says the last part in a very lighthearted loving way that it makes Harry chuckle. His mouth smiling wide at the call to their rocky beginnings. He points a finger into Louis chest before he says, "You make me feel alive.... Arse." Laughing and smiling at every word. They snuggle back into each other. 

The rest of the day was them resting more, laughing more, unpacking, and everything Harry's been longing for for so goddamn long. He could smile just thinking about the one the only Louis fucking Tomlinson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you so much for being patient with me! I was taking an online class and it has since ended so I will be updating a lot more often now! I hope you like this chapter I worked hard on it and thank you so much for reading! It means so much to me!


	14. Fourteen : Going Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to Harry's home

As the weeks went by, Harry and Louis spent every waking moment together. Mostly in Harry's and now Louis' room as Louis still wants to keep their relationship on the low. Well Harry doesn't even know if he can classify them as in a relationship. They haven't really talked about it but Harry doesn't mind because they're basically doing everything that a relationship entails other than PDA.

Christmas break is coming up and they haven't talked about their plans yet as Louis doesn't really have anywhere to go and Harry doesn't want to scare him off, but he's decided to ask him a week before break begins. They were in the kitchen eating lunch while Liam and Niall were in class when the conversation came up.

"YOU DID NOT!" Louis yell laughs at Harry's story.

"Did too! My mum wasn't very happy with me when we had to end up going to the Hospital."

"Harry!" He lets out a genuine loud laugh, "your poor mum just wanted to have a nice Christmas dinner without her idiot son shoving food up his nose!"

"Oh so I'm an idiot now??" Harry smirks at Louis.

"A cute idiot" Louis smirks back at him and they continue to eat. Enjoying their telling of Christmas stories, but it reminded Harry of his plan to ask Louis to his house that year.

"So umm. Louis, what exactly are your plans for break?" Harry already knew but he didn't want to come off too forward.

"Erm... nothing, I'd probably just stay here while you guys go see your families." He shoves another forkful of salad into his mouth and looks down.

"Well. If you're okay with it, I'd like you to come home with me for break?" Harry ends the sentence in a question as a hope that it lands softer on Louis' ears. But, Louis freezes his chewing and looks up at Harry.

"What?" Is all he says as he looks borderline in shock. Harry begins panicking slightly as he looks around the room and not at Louis.

"I mean only if you're comfortable, but I think it could be nice? But I totally understand if you don't want to, I just wanted to see-" he gets cut off by Louis leaning over the table to kiss him as a way to shut him up. Once they break, Harry shoots him a small embarrassed smile and looks down in apology.

"Of course I'll go with you! We just have to keep it quiet or if anyone spots us, tell them we're just friends." Harry doesn't even care that they have to hide, he's just so ecstatic about Louis spending Christmas with him he smiles wider than ever showing off his deep dimples that Louis loves so much. He stands up and brings Louis up out of his chair in a big hug.

"Anything to be with you." Louis melts into Harry's words and arms. But to Louis' ignorance, Harry has multiple celebrations planned for Louis as his birthday is the day before Christmas. He's already been planning his gift and everything depended on him saying yes to coming home with him. And with this victory he holds him tighter.

Once they go back to eating Harry decided to ask Louis a question he'd been avoiding since all of this stuff began.

"So erm.. what's going on with Eleanor is she still your 'girlfriend'? And at this Louis' eyes widen. Fuck. This is why he didn't want to bring it up cus he didn't wanna scare him off or make him uncomfortable. He doesn't want Louis to think he's pressuring him in any way.

"You don't have to answer I just-"

"No it's okay! I just completely forgot about her. I mean to the public yeah we're still together but I haven't even thought about that. You know she has a secret boyfriend too?" Harry almost chokes on his food at the word boyfriend, yet tried to play it off as if he was surprised about her.

"Oh really? Who?" His eyes wide and heart racing at the idea that Louis sees him that way.

"That lad John that Niall's friends with! They've actually been together for a while." And in that moment everything clicks in his mind. THAT'S why Niall didn't give a fuck about Harry making his move with Louis, he knows. Or at least knows some of it.

"That's why Niall kept pushing me to talk to you. It all makes sense now" he says reading Louis as he pushes his shoulder back playfully. Louis smiles down with blushed cheeks. Harry doesn't push it any further and they continue eating until it's all gone and they move back into Harry's room to get things tidy and prepare for the next week. And that's when Louis decides to start a discussion.

"So Harry." He says very matter of factly. "I see you in these borderline designer clothes, and your fashion sense is crazy sexy and impeccable." He says the last part by pulling Harry in and pushing his hands into the back pockets of his trousers. "So why don't you do something like that for your career? I think you'd be amazing." He finishes by kissing the tip of Harry's nose which is pointed down at Louis. Harry is silent. Mostly because he doesn't know why.

"Erm, I don't know I guess I thought Business would just be a safer option? I don't know." He tries to shrug it off, "but I also can't say it would be a dream to work in the fashion industry. Designing, creating, all of it." Louis smiles wide almost as if it was on cue.

"Well! In that case. I have this friend who's actually looking for interns for his fashion company and I just so happened to have told him I might know someone." He smiles. Harry is kind of taken back because he wasn't even thinking about studying fashion let alone immediately beginning an internship.

"Wait what? Why?" Harry is dumbfounded.

"Well I knew you enjoyed fashion and I saw the opportunity arise and i wanted to give you the option! He's hiring end of January so you have time to tell me to fuck off if you want, I just wanted to throw the idea out there." Harry's still in shock at this news. Not just cus it's so out of left field but also because it's a real, proper, fashion company.

"Well what company is it??" Harry asks thinking it'll be something very tame like ASOS, which isn't THAT tame but around there.

"Erm... well...." he begins and now Harry's getting a bit skeptical.

"What??" He asks in a concerned voice.

"I didn't want to tell you just in case it would influence your decision." He gives Harry those puppy dog eyes to try to persuade him not to ask further.

"Of course it'll influence my decision, I want to know if it's worth it!" Harry laughs through that last sentence.

"Okay fine... but don't freak out." He hesitates before continuing, "it's Gucci"

"WHAT?!?" Harry half yells which causes Louis to slap his hand over Harry's mouth.

"I said DON'T freak out!"

"How can I not!!! What the... how???"

"I told you friend! Well, family friend more like, but still!" He smiles at Harry's sudden excitement at Louis' gesture. Harry hugs Louis and picks him up to spin him around in happiness.

"I guess it helps to have a famous boyfriend" and he almost drops Louis at this slip of words. Fuck he can tell Louis is in shock even if he can't see his face in their hug. This is so much worse than the Eleanor comment Louis said. Harry slowly lets him down and releases him with panicked veins pulsing throughout his body.

His fears are realized when his eyes fall onto Louis' wide ones. He would start to blabber and stuffer over his mistake but he falls absolutely speechless. He doesn't know how to or if he can fix this. Louis is the same way until he has the courage to break the silence.

"Boyfriend." He repeats, embarrassing Harry even further as his cheeks turn red and hot with humiliation. Louis seed this and smirks up at him to ease his worry, "I can get used to that." And at that Harry's head jerks up in shock.

"Wait really?" Harry says confused but slightly happy.

"Yeah! I mean obviously it's just for us to use until.... you know. But," he reaches for Harry's jumper to pull him in closer, "I think it would be nice to get to call you my boyfriend." He throws his arms up into Harry's shoulders as he is now close enough for the perfect top off kiss. Harry smirks down at him and. His pupils dilating to take in all of Lou- his boyfriend. To seal the deal he moves forward and meets his lips with Louis' while pulling him in again with his arms. Bliss. This is bliss. Louis touch, his commitment, his affection, his generosity. Harry would be stupid to let any of this go.

-

It's the day they leave for Harry's home and he's so incredibly nervous. What if they treat him weird cus he's Royal, or worse cus he's a guy? What if he's uncomfortable because they're new random people? He knows everything will work out eventually but he's so scared.

"Hey baby, you got everything?" Harry hears from behind him in his bedroom. He's looking at himself in his bathroom mirror contemplating every decision he's made until this point to make this the best vacation for Louis. He deserves it.

"Yeah! Coming!" He quickly shoves his toiletries and some night out makeup just in case before making his way to Louis who is surrounded by luggage.

"I don't understand why you bring all this shit if you're just going to stay for a week." Louis judges.

"Oi!! I got some important stuff in these bags I'll let you know!" Harry retorts.

"What like, your entire fucking closet?" Louis seems slightly annoyed that we have to carry all of these bags down the stairs.

"Yes! I might swap some stuff out! Especially after telling your Gucci friend that I'm interested, I need to impress." Harry says smugly. Louis walks over to him and places his hands into Harry's back trouser pockets, which has quickly become one of Louis' favorite gestures.

"You're already impressive, baby." He leans up on his top toes and kisses Harry on his nose in comfort. He closes his eyes and takes in the cute gesture with a smile, "you make me feel impressive" Harry says in an over the top, cheesy way that just makes Louis chuckle at his cute try.

They begin to take the bags down the steps, Louis in front and Harry falling behind trying to carry as many bags as possible in one trip. Eventually they get all the bags shoved into Harry's car. They wave goodbye to Liam and Niall who are on the balcony waving at them in the lot.

The entire ride to Harry's is full of queen music, bad singing, and loud laughter. Harry is really excited for this trip. He wants to make sure Louis has the best time especially considering everything he's going through. It breaks his heart to even think of Louis being in pain.

Once they show up, Harry's mum was already waiting outside with what looks to be Gemma. They must've been anticipating this after Harry told his mum that he was bringing home someone. She loves guests, especially when holidays are usually just the three of them. Harry smiles at their happy faces as they drive into the driveway. He looks at Louis who looks nervous. He squeezes his hand which is placed in his on the middle console.

"I'm here babe." Harry says in reassurance. Louis takes a deep breath and squeezes back but says nothing.

Harry's mum and sister run to the car once it's parked to greet Harry and his new guest.

"Hi! I'm Anne!" She says before taking Louis' hand and shaking it excitedly. "And this is Gemma!" 

"Hi!" Gemma says happily. A bit less giddy than his mum but she probably can sense Louis' discomfort.

"It's very nice to meet you both." Louis says back trying to be as polite and sweet as possible, which makes Harry's heart full with happiness.

Harry decides to cut in and distract from the awkward yet sweet encounters to say hi to his family.

"My boy!" His mum says before bringing him into a big hug, "all grown up. I've missed you!" Harry loved his mum. After Gemma left, they both have created this close bond to get through the loneliness so he can only imagine how she must feel now that she's alone alone.

"Germa!" Harry says to Gemma with a hint of mischief in his tone.

"Piss off!" She says back with a smirk leading into a joint laugh. "I missed you too little bro." She brings him into a hug.

While they were having this exchange, Louis was already making work of unpacking the car. He's so considerate it makes Harry happy.

"Well, I'm going to let you two get inside and comfortable, would you like any help? Or any snacks?"

"Erm sure to both." Harry says while handing over a few of his bags to each of them. Louis just watched with a polite smile. He's out of his element but Harry is going to make sure this is the best Christmas ever for him.

-

The day has gone by quickly with the four of them getting to know each other more, eating snacks, playing games, talking. Harry is loving every second of it and he's ecstatic at the fact that both his mum and sister love Louis off the bat. He's perfect.

All of the fear Harry had about this trip was washed away during their game of monopoly.

"Hey! You can't do that! I already bought that property!" Louis yells. He gets real competitive during games like this.

"Not anymore!" Gemma laughs as she replaces his little trinket with hers. "Mine now" she says with a smug expression.

"But you can't!!" Harry takes his hand to give him some comfort as he can tell he's getting worked up over a board game.

"Here take mine." Harry says giving him one of his properties. Louis rolls his eyes.

"No! I'm not cheating!" He's so worked up Harry decides he needs to change the subject as it is almost ten at night he thinks bringing up sleep is probably best as he has a big day planned for him tomorrow. He pauses and squeezes Louis hand before beginning.

"I'm getting tired honestly so I think I'm going to go to bed." He gives his mum and sister a soft smile. He wants to tell them about Dad but he decided that he's going to tell them after Christmas when it can't ruin anything.

"Well that's probably a good idea seeing as I can't keep my eyes open for more than a few seconds." She chuckles at her joke, but no one else does. Louis smiles to try and be polite but quickly loses it after a few seconds.

They help put away the game before giving their hugs goodnight.

"It's so good to meet you Louis." His mum hugs Louis goodnight and turns to Harry. "I love you sweet boy, sweet dreams." And hugs him as well. Gemma follows suit but her only message is "goodnight boys sleep well."

They all turn into their respective rooms and Louis gets to see Harry's home bedroom for the first time today. He didn't make fun of anything until they were completely alone.

"Oh you like doctor who don't you?" He teases as he sees a few trinkets on Harry's shelves that are obviously from the show. Harry blushes at Louis' teasing. He's sat on his bed as Louis is looking around his room. Harry can reach Louis waistband and pulls him closer to the best to be closer to him.

"Yes I do actually." He smirks up at standing Louis who begins to crawl over Harry and onto the bed while giving him deep kisses. "Don't make fun of me I know it's lame" Louis laughs and shakes his head.

"I think it's adorable" he smirks and continues kissing Harry turning into cuddles which eventually turns into sleeping in each other's arms. Their happy places


	15. Fifteen : B-Day Highs & X-Mas Lows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry Celebrate Lou's birthday.

The next morning Louis wakes up alone in Harry's bed. Confused. He looks around still groggy and tired, but he hears a bang coming from the kitchen.

"MUM! We don't want to wake him!" Harry half yells half whispers in the kitchen. This makes Louis smirk.

"Well then cook quietly!" His mum responds. Harry continues to make breakfast with his mum for 15 more minutes until he sees a groggy sleepy adorable Louis emerge form his room in his cutest pajamas.

"Good morning babe!" Harry says. Louis didn't exactly specify to Harry if it would be okay to be really flirty with him or not. So at this Harry coughs a bit to clear his throat, "I mean bro" he days to make the situation better. He looks at Louis and just sees a happy boy. His happy boy. He walks over to Harry and puts his arms around his waist as Harry continues to cook. Well if Louis is initiating it then Harry doesn't have much to worry about.

"Well, why don't you get ready because I have a lot planned for us today." Harry whips around quickly to face him and looks down into his bright blue eyes. "Birthday Boy." Harry breaks out into a wide toothy smile triggering a slightly scared Louis' smile.

"I didn't think we were going to do anything." He said in an excited but timid voice.

"Of course we'd do something silly it's... my boyfriend's... birthday, we must do something!" He says 'my boyfriend' in a very low whisper to make sure no one else heard, and that made Louis smile wider than he already was.

"Oh you really don't have to-" Harry puts a finger to Louis' lips to stop his sentence.

"Bah bah bah! Go get dressed!!" He smirks down at him in excitement for what he has planned. He has had this idea for at least a month now. To be private and to also enjoy the day together.

15 min later and all the food is ready and on the table waiting to be eaten by Harry's family and Louis. They all swarm around the table when Harry calls for them all, chuffed at the work he did on his meal.

He sits down next to Louis as his mum and sister sit across from them. They both seem pretty happy with their meal but they've also been looking at them funny every since they arrived. Harry thinks they're probably confused with why this random man is spending Christmas with them, but never stopped to actually question it. Well until now.

" So Louis..." Harry's mum begins, "Why exactly did you decide to spend Christmas with us?" She asks and continues to eat.

Harry isn't stupid. He knows that they know who Louis is. After mentioning his name they both looked into him and asked more questions about him. Harry didn't answer everything, but he didn't need to. They've heard the name but never knew the face until now.

"Well.." Louis begins slightly shaky. Harry places his left hand onto Louis' lap under the table for comfort. He doesn't want him to feel like he needs to answer this. "It's a really long story, but I'm not exactly close with my family. Harry offered to bring me here and I thought it would be nice to see a normal family." He coughs at this in embarrassment. Did he just say "normal"

"AHEM I mean... loving family." Harry chuckles under his breath as he squeezed Louis' leg under his hand.

They go back to eating in silence. 

-

About half an hour later, both of the boys wash up and get ready for their fun filled day Harry has planned for them. 

"So what exactly is the plan for today?" Louis asks hoping Harry will tell him, which unfortunately fell flat. He knows this when Harry's only response was a devilish smirk. Louis throws a small over-dramatic tantrum, because he wants to know what they're doing but he wants to be cute while doing it. 

Louis doesn't like surprises. He guesses because his entire life has been planned for him since he was a child that any kind of detour would result in anxiety. This is why he strays away from not doing what his parents ask of him and staying on the same schedule all the time. The last month for him has been a train wreck in that department.

"Ready?" Harry almost yells once he's done fidgeted with his backpack, which Lou had no idea why he had but he didn't question it. He was wearing these SHORT blue shorts with a plain tank top over it, as if he's about to run a marathon. Louis hates impromptu exercises.

"Ready!" He responds carrying his phone slightly nervous from what's about to happen. Harry smiles wide as he grabs his other hand and drags him out to the car, shoving his bag into the back seats as he gets into the drivers seat. Lou follows close behind and around to get into his side of the car. 

"Harry, no one can see us right? I'm cut off from my family's assets, so I can't really do anything privately really. I don't want-"

"Shhh. I made sure that we will stay private and secluded the whole time." Harry grabs Louis' right hand and squeezes enearingly.

He drives and drives for what feels like an hour, but in reality was most likely 20 minutes. Louis is just more on edge since he doesn't know what they're doing and every second that passes feels like minutes. But, they finally make it. 

But where? All Louis can see are trees and a tiny trail. He looks at Harry. "What's this?" He asks before getting out of the car, waiting for his answer. 

"Oh my god, babe you'll see. I promise it's nothing bad!!" He laughs with a tender smile. That smile that makes him buckle at the knees and knock the air from his lungs. He can't help but return the tenderness back to him. He grabs Harry's hand and says, "okay fine, but if we die I'm blaming you." he jokes to break the anxious tension and they start making their way to the small opening for the path. once they make it past a certain threshold, Lou can see their destination. A house. Well the back of one. 

"We're not breaking into someone's home are we?" Louis sounds nervous.

"No no no of course not! This is my mate Joe's place. His parents are out and he's letting us stay for the night." He winks and opens the back gate with a code. 

"Holy shit, you got a Tesla in here too?"

"Haha I wish. But, there's more to do here than stay in my tiny room. And I wanted to spoil you." He gives a sweet smile before he starts doing something, but Lou is too mesmerized by this place. He finds a giant pool and jacuzzi. The pool is covered but the jacuzzi already had lights and food and, champagne surrounding it. Louis' jaw drops. 

"I wanted to make sure we were remote enough where we can be private and be outdoors." He moves his bag off of his back as he brings out some swimming trunks for Louis. 

"You did this for me?" Louis' eyes sparkle with the appreciation he has for Harry's being. His constant compassion.

"No, I was already coming here you were just my plus one." He jokes with a smile. Louis smirks at his sarcastic comment and grabs the trunks before making his way over to the tub. 

"So no one can look in?" Louis asks to make sure. He's still nervous, and Harry can tell.

"yes I made sure of it. I had my mate do all of this and make sure we could come in through the back." Gesturing to the lights and champagne. It is absolutely freezing outside which is why Louis is so excited to hot tub with his baby. Baby. He liked the sound of that. 

He quickly undresses and dresses into his trunks. "Oh wow." Harry screams in shock when he sees Louis undressing. "I didn't think you'd do that!" He says slightly off guard. 

"What? It's nothing you've never seen before I'm just changing, look away its my birthday!" And Harry does what he's told. Still turned around he hears Lou splash into the tub grabbing one of the champagne glasses. He whips back around shocked. 

"Hey! Don't start without me!" Harry takes off his shirt and trainers and splashes in with him grabbing the other glass. He gives him a smile as he Cheerses Lou's glass to signal a sip which they both oblige to. 

"So, Louis? Can I say a few things?" Lou is sort of left off guard, slightly anxious at what the next words coming out of his mouth are going to be. Most likely birthday talk, but every word that comes out of Harry's mouth always has so much meaning and he puts so much care and thought into everything he does. 

"Yes?" 

"Thank you." Lou lets out a small relieving breath and looks up at Harry who's looking into his lap. "Thank you for not hating me forever. For giving me another chance after being a complete dickhead. For teaching me how to love-" He pauses. He's never actually said that out loud. He freezes in fear. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Was it too soon? Probably. Fuck. But one of Louis' hands grabs Harry's and squeezes for comfort. 

"I love you Harry." He says quickly before he could change his mind. Harry's head shoots up with hope and fear as he had been scared that he scared him away. "What?" He says dumbfounded. 

"You heard me." Louis smiles a cheeky smile, but Harry is still frozen in shock, so Louis repeats, "I love you, prick" He smiles at Harry as his eyes grow wide with anticipation. But, Harry's eyes lighten up with glee at his reference. 

"I love you..... Arse." he responds with a big smile. He places his glass back onto the table and Lou follows suit. 

Once their hands are free they immediately look for each others. Craving their touch. Meeting in one passionate loving sensual kiss. One that sends shivers down your spine and fuzzes in your head. This one felt different. It feels new. It feels more intimate. More soft, even when it was rough. More meaningful. Every movement of his lips on his moved to the song that was playing in his heart. 

Once they break they can't help but laugh at their now mutual love for one another and how important this moment is. 

"happy birthday to me!" Louis says loudly grabbing his glass for a clink but, not being able to break his cheesy smile. Harry send the same smile back as he returns the cheers. 

They splash around in the tub as they drink for an hour or so. Cuddling, kissing, talking, reminiscing. Everything. Louis' thinks this may be the best birthday he's ever had in his now 23 years of life.

"Oh! I have food coming by the way and then you can open your present after dessert!" Harry shrieks in excitement as he looks at the time on his phone before climbing out of the tub quickly. This gives Louis mental whiplash. 

"Woah woah woah slow down curly!" Harry looks up as he breaks from his go go go mood. 

"I'm sorry, Lou. I just want it to be perfect." Harry gives a big sigh to help slow down his mind. Louis hops out of the tub and walks a few steps over to him grabbing both of Harry's hands and bringing them up to his chest. They look into each others eyes and Louis starts, "Hey, it's already so much more than I could've ever asked for. It's perfect for me." He smiles and kisses Harry's hands in his. H gets flustered at this gesture but is enjoying every second he's spending with him. Joy. 

-

It's a few hours later after they've dried off and gotten into comfy clothes and eaten. They're sitting on the sofa snuggling and telling more stories about their lives that the other had never known before. But, eventually, "Are you ready for your gift?" Harry says happily. 

"UGH, I was hoping you were going to forget about that." Louis is slightly joking because he's living for all the attention Harry is giving him, but he also feels so guilty whenever he receives anything. All he needs to be happy is to be with him. He doesn't need gifts. 

"Nope! Ima go get it. Stay sitting there and looking pretty!" He winks at him which Louis responds by rolling his eyes. Harry goes to grab a small box in his bag that he put down on the other side of the room before coming back to the sofa. 

Louis looks up at his eager eyes as he grabs the box form his hands. Harry sits next to him anxious to see what he thinks. He picked out this gift purely for him and it isn't anything big but he's anxious to see if he likes it or not. 

Louis grabs the card and begins to read;

Louis,

Wow, well first Happy birthday. Who would've thought we'd be where we are today. I hope you like your gift. It's not a lot but I hope you like it. Remember the first night we met? I thought you were an arse.

Louis scoffs at this, "Still do." he says out loud which makes Harry laugh. 

And you said something to me and I won't ever forget it, because you did it. Happy birthday Loulou :)

H 

Louis looks up confused at the last sentence until he moves around the paper and sees a handmade bracelet, the ones with words written on them. Louis blinks a few times to make sure he sees it properly. 

You've convinced me

Louis blinks again but this time trying to blink away the tears he can feel welling up in his eyes. Harry can't see his face as he's looking down fondling the bracelet. He's slightly scared that Louis isn't going to like it. 

"Do you-" harry begins but he's interrupted with Louis throwing himself into his arms. A very tight embrace. Louis' face in his chest to hide his tears that are most definitely falling now. But what gives him away is a small sniffle. Fuck.

"I love it. I fucking love it." he lets go of him continuing to hold it now wiping away tears without care if H sees them. Lou looks up at him mouths a few inches apart. "I love you" he says looking up into H's green eyes. 

"I love you too." Harry gives a smile knowing now that Louis loved his gift. He grabs Louis' face with both of his hands on his cheeks and brings him into his lips as they share a very sensual kiss wet with the happy tears of L. He'd never gotten a present as meaningful as this in his life, so he's a bit overwhelmed, but on top of the world. They start to lay back onto the sofa as their kiss deepens and becomes more and more steamy. Before it goes anywhere though Louis parts their kiss to ask, "So where are we sleeping?" He smirks up at him. Harry knows exactly what he means, standing up with his hand out waiting for Louis'. 

"This way." He winks. Louis grabs it ecstatic. He's had birthday sex so many times honestly, but never with anyone he'd felt this way for. Felt this deeply for. It's such a perfect day, and once the door closes to the bedroom, it caps it off with a perfect night of intimacy, love, and euphoria. 

-

They wake up to Harry's early alarm. They have to be out by a certain time for both Christmas plans at the family house and for his mate to get back. Harry sparks up as Lou squirms around slowly to wake up. 

"Ugh 5 more minutes!" he says groggy. 

"Well Happy Christmas to you too." Harry jokes. A tired Louis rubs his eyes as he reaches for his phone which he immediately notices is blowing up notifications. He reads the first few thinking they're Birthday or Christmas texts but is reading texts like 

Niall : Congratulations bro! I'm proud. <3

Zayn : Hey Happy birthday! Did you see the Sun today?

Eleanor : Hey, call me immediately. 

He sees 5 missed calls from El. He shoots out of bed with his anxiety levels rising now higher and higher as he continues to read. 

Mom : I can't believe you. How did you let those pictures happen? 

Pictures??? Louis looks up at Harry wide eyes, shaking, and terrified. Harry looks up from his phone back at Louis. He had gotten a lot of Congrats texts as well on his 'new relationship'. Something bad has happened. Something really bad. Louis can see it in Harry's eyes he knows something. 

"Louis..." Harry says trying to ease into what he's about to say Next. Louis couldn't even look at any more messages he started panicking too much.

"What's happening? Why am I getting texts and calls from everyone I know Congratulating me or mad at me? What's going on? Harry?" He looks up at him tears welling u in his eyes out of fear. harry runs to him and grabs his hands to sit him down.

"I'm sorry Louis. I'm so sorry." Harry begins. Louis is even more shocked. 

"Sorry for what? WHAT'S HAPPENING!?" He's starting to get into a full blown panic now. 

"Louis... I didn't think anyone would know where we are, let alone find a way to look in." Tears are welling up in his eyes too. He's terrified as well. "There's pictures Lou. Of us. Together. Kissing. And someone posted them to the Sun this morning." He looks down ashamed. He knows it's his fault. He doesn't know how any of this fame stuff works he thought he did enough, but obviously not. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry." Harry says but Louis drowned out everything after he said the Sun. He's numb. Absolutely numb. 

"They.. What?!?" He starts breathing abnormally and shaking. "How the hell?! I thought you said you had everything covered!!" 

"I thought I did!" Oh no. Fuck fuck fuck. 

"Obviously not because now everyone in the world knows now. Everyone. EVERYONE!" Louis is screaming now as tears and sobs break through his breaths. "I can't believe this, How the hell?" Harry attempts to comfort him by placing his hand on Louis' but he immediately pulls it away. 

"Louis.. I-"

"No. I- I need to go. I need to leave now." He starts running franticly to the kitchen grabbing all of his stuff. 

"Louis! Can we at least talk? I want to help if I can." Harry calls as he chases after him. 

"You've done enough I think." He says harshly. Harry knows he's definitely not in the right state of mind right now but he can't help but be hurt by the words. Louis grabs his extra clothes and his phone and heads towards the door. Harry grabs his arm before he could reach it. 

"please. I'm begging." harry says defeated. Shamefully. And Hurt. He can see Louis face red with anger and anxiety and his eyes full of tears. He feels it's all his fault. It's all his fault.

"I need some time, Harry." Louis looks up into Harry's wet eyes. He's hurt. He's scared. His entire world has just come crashing down and the one person he wishes he could confide in and be with is the one he can't stand to look at right now, "Alone." He finishes before forcefully removing his arm from Harry's grip. Harry falls to the floor in tears, sobbing, he doesn't want him to go. He feels like the absolute worst person to exist in this moment. Louis' Entire world has come crashing, and Harry's is leaving out of the front door. 

"I love you, Louis." Harry says in defeat on the ground as Louis opens the door. Louis is heated, he's immensely hurt, he's sad, there's too many emotions clouding his mind that he can't think logically about what his response would be. Instead he decides to say the one thing that will hurt him back. Make him feel how he's feeling. 

"I loved you too." He responds before opening and closing the door behind him. Leaving Harry alone on the cold hardwood floor on Christmas morning, distraught. He can't physically get himself to move. He's paralyzed in that spot. He's numb. But, eventually he has enough energy to move enough to make it to the sofa. He put his phone down when he came into the room and he reaches for it but sees the box. The present Harry got Lou. The bracelet still there. He grabs it in his hands and weeps again clutching it tightly in his fists as he lays down on the sofa. He feels as though all of the air has been knocked out of his chest. And all he wants right now is Louis. But, he also wants his mum. 

He slowly gets the energy to get up and clean up everything before leaving to go back to his home, now without Louis. What is he going to say? What are they going to say? he doesn't care he just wants his mum more than anyone right now. 

He makes his way back to his house in complete silence, radio off, phone off, silence. He heard Louis get into his Uber while he was on the floor, so he knows he'll get back okay. But, all he can think about in this moment is how much he fucked up. He just wanted to make an amazing day for him, and it was, but it backfired massively and Harry is trying to hold it in, but it keeps coming out. He gets out of his car and makes his way to the door, but he can tell his mum was waiting for him and Louis as she opens the door before he can get inside. 

"Mum?" Harry said but his voice breaks and a tear rolls down his face. Her happy expression turns into confusion then concern. 

"Hun, are you okay?" She asks and that's what did it. He runs to her, sobbing. "He's gone. He left." He cries into her shoulder. She tries to comfort him, though still confused on why this is happening and what happened. 

"Hey why don't we get you inside and washed up and we'll talk okay?" Harry can't find the words to respond so he nods and walks past her inside and ignores Gemma's obvious smug look. He heads straight for his room and shuts the door so he can be alone. He leans his back up against the door and slowly slides onto the floor crying. He's just beating himself up. Saying it's his fault, saying he's being too emotional. He's doing everything he can to make himself feel as badly as he thinks he deserves. 

But all he can think about is Louis. He knows he probably didn't mean what he said, but it doesn't make the words any less hurtful. He pulls out the bracelet he'd been keeping in his pocket. 

You've convinced me

he reads.

"Happy Christmas." He says to himself in anger and shame. "Happy Fucking Christmas"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so sorry, but I needed to do it. Just hold in there! I promise it's worth it :)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys like this!!


End file.
